#1 to me,
is how I do my best to listen, honest affirming with no hidden agenda attached, with nothing expected from who I am listening to. This form of listening is not something I have to force myself to do. As a mother this is what I still do so my children, or whoever is talking, knows I am listening, I have heard them, and if asked for my thoughts I then go over what they’ve said in my head again, listening to how the person is feeling, if they just need to be heard, affirmed they were heard, or may be asking for help with?
#2 to me,
sounds like competition, trying to one up someone, not actually caring about the person at all.
#3 to me,
since my oldest son is 32, daughter is 26, and youngest son is 23, I’ve had time to be as neutral, being a real friend who listens is rewarding in itself. I know what it feels like to be on the other side of an obvious better than type, as if they’re doing me a favor by listening #1 and #2 is not real or a friend, I don’t like that feeling.
Listening like a rock, being heard by a rock, is a great feeling, a secure and real friend.