Surviving the first days at school

Elaine Fagan
Aug 24, 2017 · 4 min read

So, in what seems like the blink of an eye the summer has been and is almost gone. As September rapidly approaches so too does a very big, new and exciting chapter in many children’s lives — the first days of school. Over the last week or so I’ve been asked for advice from parents about how to approach settling children into school for the first time. Undoubtedly this is a massive milestone in any young child’s life and it is also a massive deal for parents too. When we think of children heading off to ‘big school’ we often hear parents say things like “where did my baby go?” or “I’m so worried he won’t settle” or “what if she cry’s on the first day?”.

While transitions can be exciting, they can also be a worrying time for all concerned. However; with a little forward planning and preparation you can make the settling in process easier. Follow my top tips to help your little one as they embark on the next big adventure…

Top Tips in the lead-up to the first day

· Establish a routine — children as we know are creatures of habit and feel more secure when there is predictability and structure in place. Establishing rituals can be a good way to prepare children for what’s to come in the months ahead. Set and stick to a bed-time and morning routine, do a couple of practice runs of getting into the uniform, doing the hair etc.

· Let children learn — Children are like sponges and love to learn new things. When we do things for children we are teaching them that as adults we can do it better and we know best. Remember that you won’t be there with your child in school, when she/he needs to put on their coat, open their yogurt etc. Start working on promoting independence by teaching your child these skills now. Be patient, always show rather than do. Give lots of praise and encouragement along the way.

· Show energy and enthusiasm — children learn by example. If you are anxious about your child starting school and show it, guess what… your child is going to feel anxious too. Your worries and fears are best kept away from ‘little ears’. Be excited, be positive… even if you have to fake it until you make it!!!

· Let your child know what to expect — as adults we like predictability, we like to known what is going to happen when we embark on something new. Children are absolutely no different!!!! Talk to your child about the sequence of events on the first day, explain about who they are going to meet, that you will be leaving when they are settled, what they will have for lunch, who will be waiting to collect them etc. A drive to the school can be a good idea if your child hasn’t had an opportunity to visit yet.

· Tune into your child — Talking about starting school in the weeks leading up to it gives you an opportunity to gauge how your child feels about it all. If your child seems anxious or worried that’s okay. Don’t dismiss your child’s feelings with well-meaning statements like “you will be fine”. Instead, give your child an opportunity to voice their worries and be prepared that they may need to do this over and over again. Then offer lots and lots of reassurance. Reading story books about starting school, a trip to pick out the lunch-box, a look at the photo gallery on the school website can all help to reassure an anxious child.

Top tips on the first day

· Leave plenty of time for any unexpected delays — a spilled breakfast, a lost shoe or a traffic jam will add unnecessary stress for all.

· Make the car journey to the school fun — listening to familiar songs will help to relax your child.

· Tell your child what is happening after school so they have something to look forward to. A trip to the park or an outing for an ice-cream will create the ideal opportunity to hear all about the big day.

· Buddy your child up with another child — if they already know another child who is starting too that’s even better.

· If your child does cry — give a cuddle, reassure them that everything’s going to be okay.

· Be patient — if your child is not taking to school like a duck to water remember — “this too shall pass”.

· Try not to cry in front of your child — this may add to your child’s sense of confusion, heighten anxiety or reinforce your child’s belief that there is something to be fearful of.

· Don’t stay too long — with the best of intentions, the longer you stay if your child is anxious, the harder settling in will be. Give a kiss goodbye, let your child know where you are going and when you will be back — then make your exit.

· Trust that the teachers have it covered. Remind yourself that they are trained to work with children and support children through this year after year.

· Leave yourself plenty of time to get back for collection — your child needs to see you waiting there at the gate as promised.

And finally….

Don’t forget the camera — this is a big day and an occasion where a selfie is most definitely allowed!!

By Elaine Fagan of Just Bee Children’s Centre. Find us on facebook @ just bee children’s centre, twitter @ Justbeecc or visit us at www.justbeecc.ie

www.justbeecc.ie

https://www.facebook.com/justbeechildrenscentre/

https://twitter.com/JustBeeCC

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