procrastination #1: 
a poem made of spam subject lines

The news sometimes distracts me from poetry.

Do you have a criminal record?
Construct anything from wood with your children (super easy)
Escape country life and move to the city.

Have sex 5 times this weekend
Build your own furniture
Don’t be alone tonight

Love your job.
Your Points will expire soon.

Here Today Gone Tomorrow.
The 30 Cent Brew That Makes You A Better Screw

Elaine, chances are improving
Elaine, where are you?
Elaine, we have something exciting to share.

This is NOT a drill!
It all depends on you

Chicago Sausage Party
May we serve you again?
Your connection was interrupted

Does depression cause permanent brain damage?
Situation changing fast

So. Damn. Cozy.

Still reeling over this
Don’t wait until it’s too late
It’s important we know

Can I count on you, Elaine?
Elaine, commit?

Do it now, Elaine


Rainbow season is here
Last night changed EVERYTHING

Stranger than riding a cheetah to White Castle
Did you hear this?

Let there be light!

Are you with me tonight?
Beware of what’s inside

Time to panic

Elaine? This okay?
Is it working, Elaine?

Custom heart-shaped clock
When you don’t feel like wearing a bra

Love your new purchase?
Buy now, pay later

Stretch into silence
Searching for more inner peace?

I wasn’t sure I wanted to share this

Elaine, the worst is over!

Would you rather work? Or go on a “quest”?

CAUTION: You are under attack.
Try the drink designed by neuroscientists to help you overcome mental blocks and get stuff done.

At your breaking point?

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