What’s wrong with “ I don’t know” ?

We live in a world with an abundance of choices. And many people are whining about it. Restaurants offering only three flavors of ramen are emerging, labeling themselves as experts “striving to do one thing well”. They are doing a favor for the indecisive customers and themselves: shortening the average dining time and increasing table turnover. Recall the last time you dined out and went for the “chef’s recommendation” or stuck with the most popular item. One of my most pleasant dining experiences was in a small Japanese diner that only served a set menu and cooked one type of meat: chicken. Where did our acquired taste go? Why have we surrendered our stomachs to the complete stranger in the back kitchen who knows nothing about our preferences? How can one even claim to be a true foodie when they stick with the same dish and is never adventurous?

The more the options, the more factors we need to consider in our utilization function. And just like a computer slows down when it tries to compute more data, our brain also attaches a negative utility when given additional choices. Why did I-phone come out with only a few colors and storage options? It didn’t want to complicate the customers further when they are pondering about buying a phone.

These companies and businesses have identified a key weakness in today’s consumers: the inability of choosing. Rather than knowing what product we want to buy or what purpose it fulfills, we let the marketing and brand promoting divisions of big firms shape our tastes. This is indeed an opportunity for entrepreneurs to create the white space they were looking to fill. On the other hand, people will rely more heavily on other “industry specialists” to make decisions, and even offer a premium for having the optionality taken away from them.

Not only have we become passive consumers, but also “takers” in life. The unwillingness to make a decision comes not only from the lack of information, but also from a dysfunctional judgment system and low self-esteem. Growing up in China, teachers fed equations and standardized answers into student’s heads, parents decided what musical instrument you would play, what clothes you would wear and what friends you should make. We’ve become experimental mice, living under pre-determined conditions and other people’s expectations, reacting to outside forces rather than creating our own environments. And when we are finally out of their sights, we’ve found ourselves reluctant to take the step in owning a decision. This is partially because we lack independent judgment, which can be fixed by higher education and access to a wider range of opinions. The more urgent problem is the fear of taking responsibility for one’s own choices. No one holds the title to your life trajectory except yourself. I still remember on my 18th birthday, the horrifying realization that I would be sent behind the bars if I did anything illegal, and had no one to protect me and no one to blame.

In moments of indecisiveness, we try to think of all the possible consequences and struggle to find the perfect option. We fear. failure and worst of all, we fear acknowledging that we made the choice. Avoiding a decision is a decision in itself. By actively choosing, we can slowly calibrate our needs and wants to what the world has to offer. Start from the small things like choosing an item from the menu for your next meal rather than saying “I don’t know”. Don’t wait to be dumped when you know the relationship isn’t working out. Don’t show up to work unmotivated and wait for your boss to notice and fire you. Quit if this isn’t your passion. It’s your life, after all.