To the elites and every successful technologist

I am college educated, a learning programmer, and am just understanding why it was so hard for me to be successful while others seems to have such an easier time.

First off, I am from a small town just outside of Appalachia in Virginia. I grew up realizing I lived in a rural area but didn’t know the values were as uncompetitive as I have come to learn. I went to James Madison University, and never really understood or could get on the level as the kids from up north. Safe to say at this point in my life I was not feeling my feelings or having any original thoughts. I wasn’t allowed to. (This was not a good thing and nearly crippled me in my career but i will get into this later)

The depression hit at 23. I just couldn’t get out of bed and realized that the pain tolerance I had built up to be accepted was no longer an asset but a liability. I want to go into why I felt that me expressing myself and being myself was a bad thing. that is the crux of this story.

There is an entire areas of the country where being yourself and expression is not a good thing. These kids are forced to adapt and become what culture accepts which is dumb and stupid because they have no choice. In my case, dad was beating me psychically with a belt and mom was using me as her emotional surrogate. Don’t question us the parents would say, just do what it takes to make us look good. At this time in my life i was so brainwashed I thought the beating were good for me and were brought upon me because of love. When I got to college at 18, I was just a beat down kid looking for acceptance and scared to feel or think. very scared. What did I keep doing out of fear. became someone who was accepted. You know the kid, the one that has a lot of friends but no one really know who he is.

Now that I am making a product, I realize the these areas of the country, like where I am from, have little chance at success. The elites never intervened or said while we get ahead, lets give back to make sure another civil war doesn’t happen. Instead they watched these areas decay away and really founded there own country in many ways.

Why does no one talk about the abuse the seems to be part of the culture in some parts of the country? I have to get back to work. this is a bit of a rough draft but i feel i grow as I put this out there.

I wondered why i felt so guilty for doing what I was doing. I was excelling while others really never had the opportunity. but I have guilt no longer because I know I am doing the right thing. making product, publishing product, iterating product, learning to make financial decisions that benefit product. Learning to be competitive basically.

I think the decentralization that we are seeing will be good for everyone. lets just hope people can get educated enough to leverage it to work in there benefit