“ Why i choose a wing for myself . “
- AutoBiography of a Flight Attendant
Part I .
After finishing my Masters In Tourism Management from Guwahati University, one of the most prestigious university in North East of India i was looking forward to start a new carrier to settle down a stable life like all my friends. Some of them persuing farther for phd , rest very much ready for UGC NET examination and others as a Teacher . Since from my childhood, my aim was always uncertain. My classmates would proudly say what they would become in future . Doctors, Teachers, Civil Service Officers and what not all the children would say, when my turn come i always fake it saying that my aim in life is to become an Army Doctor and all bullshit possible way of sounding classy and act as a strong determined student in the whole class. Well it was funny how i would taunt my childish way of uncertain determination to go ahead and become a part of them in future.
I have always put myself as a strong women in front of my friends and family. They often would think that nothing effects me in life and whatever happen , i will always take care of myself. But the truth was, i have always hidden my true self in front of everyone . Deep inside i was the most vulnerable girl who would easily get triggered with most simplest way of scolding from elders. Yet I would always act that i am fine and nothing effects me.
While in the verge of what to do next After completion of my Master Degree, unknown to everyone i was fighting through post break up depression. I have never admitted to anyone that i started developing a continuous symptoms of harming myself and i don’t know what’s the scientific term for it. I couldn’t share my pains to my parents or any of my brothers , reasons behind it they always opposed me for being in love with the guy who belonged from a different caste and different religion. I don’t blame them for being so firm in their beliefs in getteing married or being in love with the same caste , despite of modernisation and huge outbreak of educated people in India, being Indian we all are still confined with the old days mindset of marrying a person from the same caste , same status and same religion.
I was deeply in love with my childhood crush , like any other crazy teenager lover , my ex boyfriend was everything to me. My first love, my first kiss and my first sex , he was more then anything to me. In the beginning of the relationship, everything seems to be so magical and beautiful. But as time passed by i saw our relationship standing in an edge of mountain clip where either the option was let go or just die .
….To be continued. …