I think someone is looking too deeply into a microscope and projecting her observations (or hidden fears) upon an entire people.
If you really want to help people, get the government out. Before the federal government’s “war on poverty” the unemployment rate for Black men was 4% . . . ponder what the results were of government involvement.
As to your middle aged Jewish women who doesn’t want to get involved in a problem decimating the Black community ? Probably she (and you, and I) don’t have any business telling others how to live their lives.