10 Pool Rafts that will Really Make A Splash in Summer 2016
With a minimal amount of effort perusing Amazon I was able to find 10 rafts sure to heat up your summer. All can be on your doorstep within 24 hours if you have an Amazon Prime account.
1. Swimline 90645 Fun Inflatable Pool Pizza Raft
$39.99 may sound like a lot for a pool raft but let me tell you I have first hand experience with a lesser quality pizza slice raft and it ended poorly in a deflating demise. This my friends is the Cadillac of Pizza Slice Pool Rafts. This pizza slice comes with not one, but two drink holders, a crust headrest and FOUR toppings! It also allows you to connect up to 8 slices together like the goddamn Power Rangers to make an entire pizza pie so you and your friends can be total dicks and annex a pool. Let’s face it, the other swimmers probably aren’t having a good time anyway if they aren’t on a giant pizza island of friendship.
2. Kangaroo’s Gigantic Cockroach Raft
Ever wanted an entire pool to yourself? Ever wanted to be passive aggressive with your landlord? Ever wanted to model for a pool raft photo and got stuck trying to look sexy on a giant cockroach? The good news about this one is it has a lot of grab handles for your freeloading friends that refuse to buy their own rafts.
3. BigMouth Inc. Giant Ice Pop Pool Float
Everyone knows popsicles and summer are synonymous. Throw a pool float into the mix and you have one of the hottest rafts whichever side of the Mississippi you happen to live on. Be wary though, it looks like you have to be in fetal position to fit on it. I think they hired short people to model it off.
4. Kidster Water Wheel
Have you ever wanted to put your annoying children in a hamster wheel to expel their energy? Need I say more? Probably not fit for an adult unless you are like that girl Violet from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and need to use it as an inner tube.
5. Kangaroo’s Giant Poop Pool Toy
It was going to be near impossible to do a top 10 pool rafts of 2016 without at least giving the giant poo emoji pool float a mention. I’m personally waiting for the 💁 emoji raft to come out though.
6. Kangaroo Jumbo Pink Flamingo Pool Float
Let me give you a tip for both buying pool rafts and about life. You want to come strong but not too strong. That’s what this flamingo raft is all about. It’s an understated statement. A modern take on an all time classic. Plus, magenta looks good with pool water blue. Let’s not forget the most important part of selecting any pool raft - it has to look good in all those Instagram photos you are going to take on it.
7. Vickea Giant Inflatable Pegasus Pool Float
YAAAAASSSS QUEEN!!! Remember what I said about not coming on too strong? Well this one comes to the party pretty damn strong. If you are one mythical steed away from achieving godlike status this can put you over the top.
8. Swimline Cabana Shirt Float
This diamond in the rough cabana shirt raft is perfect for any pool party. Tongue in cheek but also very functional with 2 cup holders, a built in pillow and actually sized to fit an adult. May not actually be strong enough to hold anyone that wears cabana shirts on the reg tho
9. Swimline Log Flume Joust Set
If you don’t enjoy leisure time by the pool and would rather pummel people with giant inflatables until they fall off a large corn dog then maybe this is more your speed. You may want to also stock up on Neosporin for all those scratches you’re going to get from taking glancing blows to the face with plastic seams.
10. Swimline Baseball Glove Float Inflatable Raft
If your suntanned body already looks like an old leather mitt, probably don’t get this one (unless you like blending in). Otherwise, you’ll want to catch this deal before it’s too late! Also a hit to bring to baseball games!
Honorable Mention: Giant Inflatable Pickle
Watch all the parents recoil in horror when you show up to the pool with a couple of these bad boys. There is a bit of a dispute in the customer reviews as to whether the size is as advertised.
Honorable Mention: Giant Pineapple Pool Float
You like to party don’t you? Why else would you be reading an article about the best pool rafts to buy this summer? What says you like to party more than a giant pineapple inner tube. Already has the core removed for convenience.
