So, fast-forward two years, and where’s that follow-up promised for FetLife and others?? 😉
I live in Montana, and lemme tell ya, all aforementioned lamestream dating sites are CRAP.
- OKC does get an honorable mention, but their anti-stalking (commendable) policy of disappearing profiles you send a first message to… well, no second chances on that first impression, and it requires the person on the receiving end to be on their game.
- POF is utterly useless for normal dating purposes, to say nothing of poly ones.
- Match has been alright, but for reasons unknown, nobody ever makes a move, and they recently got rid of the convenient gallery view of people I’d liked!
The sites that have actually resulted in real-life dates, and even a few quality friendships, in order of usefulness, have been:
Zoosk in particular is unique in that the Views section is like an updating tickertape of who keeps coming back — after enough repeat visits, you can feel a little bolder in dropping a message. The result is either:
- I’m eyecandy, and the illusion balloon gets popped by the textual intrusion of reality
- there’s something there to be explored
Due to local culture, these modest successes have been open-minded monogamists, and the closest actual poly interest I’ve found is an inconvenient 160 miles away.
Anyways, maybe this good-natured screed will help other queer / anti-orthodoxy (I’m head-bi, so I’ll claim queer, but I do not consider solely poly to be queer, so thus anti-orthodoxy) peeps in the hinterlands, and this all informs my initial ribbing about FetLife, etc. Zoosk and OKC are the edgy side of orthodoxy, so maybe a pocket of FetLife is the vanilla-but-poly side of kink? Dunno, but this RA wants to know! 😃