This is an awesome encapsulation of a problem that even relatively introspective men — read: doing their work — suffer from. I am one of those men. As much as I say I’m opposed to a transactional attitude, I am also a creature of my capitalist culture, and there are almost none of us (now referring to all the humans, not just the hetero XY set) who escape what I call ‘internalized capitalism’. None of us really want to see ourselves as consumers of others, or commodities to be consumed by others, and yet our dating culture is RIFE with this diseased outlook. At any rate, you have done us all a service by sweeping back the Oz-ian curtain — thank you.