I have been discovering this topic quite a long time. A lot of reflection was made. In addition, my experience of several break-ups and divorce plus divorces of my friends trigged some self-analysis as well. There are 3 reasons why modern marriages are so fragile (to my mind):
Capitalism. The main reason. All others are derivative. Modern capitalist countries don’t have a need for families. You may be agree or against, but you will see that families will be a rare thing in 20 – 40 years or family will transform to something different. We live in society of consumption – we have so many goods around us. We have abundance and we don’t put value in things. Broken? You can buy new. There are no personal need for hunting or gathering to get food. We don’t have to survive anymore. Government is interested in us as consumers. So it’s even better for economy that 1 child is growing with 2 parents that live separately. 2 wardrobes for kid, 2 sets of toys, books and 2 apartments. Women don’t have a critical need in men now, they become more independent. And men don’t interested so much in such kind of unisex women. Sex? Yes, still it is an instinct that appears less and less nowadays. Sex toys are available, prostitution is legal, porn is accessible 24/7 and after hard working day you are just lazy to have this sex. Masturbation is more easy way. But it doesn’t require a family. More over a lot of people consciously choose to be child free or to live a solitaire life. Some individuals change their gender and orientation.
Do you know about experiment that was conducted in USA , which is called “Universe 25”?
I recommend you to watch it. Actually this experiment opened my eyes . I will leave a link below .
Individualism. Everyone has his own opinion and wants to express himself/herself in own way. Everywhere is said about finding yourself and putting your needs above all. Governments let you do it and support. Religion stays aside. No judgement. Absolute freedom and acceptance. Total democracy. Finally we got freedom to do what we want and sleep with who we want. Moral rules don’t work. So what should hold people in family? Did you notice that in countries with strong influence of religion and government into private life ( mostly Muslim countries now) , divorce rates are lower and position of family is stronger?
Infantilism. Generation of people aged 20 – 40 in western countries don’t know how to build a family. Nobody taught us how to do it in a right way. We take experience of our parents, but a lot of us had a good example? We stay adult kids until 30 – 40, trying to avoid responsibility. We are not ready for the same sacrifices our parents did. More over a lot of people have borderline mental disorders that don’t let them to build a normal family now.
I painted sad situation, I know. As a family person I feel upset for humanity also. I see a lot of well- educated, healthy and wealthy people single or child free… Personally me, I think we need a family. No matter that everything you could have or buy , in the end of your day you want to hug somebody and tell how your day was…