Mallorca

Spain. Oh Spain. You sneaky minx!!

I landed in Mallorca at around 11.30pm on a Friday night after work. It was another spur of the moment trip that my gf Courtenay and I had pounced on a week or two prior. My flight had been delayed about 45 minutes, but no bother. I grabbed my bag and joined the queue for my car rental and waited. And waited. And then I waited some more. And after that, there was more waiting. What the hell??! Why was this taking so long?? Eventually, about 3 lifetimes later, I was talking to the lovely Carlos who looked into his little jumble of keys and decided ‘this one’ was right for me. Turns out ‘this one’ was a Nissan Juke, a relatively sizeable diesel SUV. He was kinda cute, and I took a liking to him. Especially after I started driving – the boy had moves!! It was a smooth, pleasurable machine to drive. A word to the warning – booking with Alamo is a good idea. They’re a bit slow but no hidden fees that Spain can be famous for. It was approaching 1.30am by the time I got to Court, and after a glass of red and a quick chat we hopped into bed around 2.30am, as we wanted an early start the next day.

Alarms blaring at 7.30am, we rolled out of bed as we wanted to get a full day of exploring and beaching in. Court made us a breakfast feast for the gods with dates, chopped nuts, fruit and yoghurt, and we set off. Not before I had an incredibly entertaining exchange with a woman who only spoke Spanish while getting a takeaway coffee though. We decided we would start at the most northern tip of the island and then wind our way back to Palma. It took about 90 mins to drive up there, and there was a stunning cliff top view point when we arrived. Nature at its most simple yet dramatic.

Soaking in the views, we got a few pics and jumped back in the car to find the smallest beach/cove Court had identified on the map. It was a mini hike to get down to it, and when we arrived…..it was really pretty but not somewhere we were able to hang out. So again, we took a few moments to enjoy the beauty of our surroundings, and then (with a slight shudder looking up), we got our bums and thighs into gear to shimmy our way back up the hill. That was breakfast worked off!

Next stop was one of the more popular beaches up north. We were ready for some sun and sand by now. Paying €9 for parking determined that we would be staying for a little while to bronze our bodies. The beach, Pollença, was a typical stunner – soft white sand, warm blue water and plenty of people watching opportunities! Settling down in a spot, my skin quickly warmed, and we lazed the hours away chatting, laughing and swimming.

From there we decided we wanted to see Santanyí beach, however we found ourselves very distracted en route when we came across this beautiful and quaint little castle village. Stopping wasn’t an option. It was mandatory. So much charm squeezed into just a few alleyways! We explored, looked inside some shops we had no money for, and came to the realisation that we were dreadfully dehydrated, so ciders it was! The girl who served us honestly looked about 16, but had the strongest Geordie or some such sort accent. She told us she’d been in Mallorca for 15 years, and spoke no Spanish, which does not explain anything with that accent!! Life will always have its mysteries.

After this we made it to Santanyí. The cider had done little to quench the dreadful thirst, so we popped into the local supermarket. We’d come to find soon that ciders can actually be a bit hard to find cold! Instead we ended up with a bottle of rose, some plastic cups and a few snacks. We took ourselves down to the beach and found a spot amongst all the half (or no) clothed bodies. I only had two small glasses as driving was my duty, and our little red man was relying on me to be safe. We took a wander down the beach after as I’d spotted some cliffs that needed jumping off. I have a new ‘self improvement’ project I’m very dedicated to, which involves doing things that may have made me nervous in the past. Such as flinging my body off a high ledge into the abyss. So with that in mind, up I climbed. And without giving it too much thought, threw myself over. There was a girl up there who was hesitating, so I asked if she’d mind if I just went, and bless her she was so grateful to see another girl up there surviving the experience. It was actually so much fun!! I think I’m a convert now.

However it was injury number two of the trip. The first had been earlier when sunscreen oil has run into my eyes after swimming and I almost couldn’t see for a few hours. It hurt like a freakin mofo!! Then jumping, I didn’t notice at the time, but my butt must’ve come in at a speed (I think it has a postcode of its own) because about 30 mins or so later, and for the next few days, getting up or sitting down HURT haha. I had to psyche myself up for each occasion!! Though it hasn’t put me off future cliff jumping. Just need to refine my technique.

From here it was time to wind our way to our Airbnb to have a shower, put our faces on and get ready for finding some fun! The drive was by far one of my more entertaining ones, Court played the roles of DJ, bar tender, and chef extraordinaire, keeping me fed with avocado crackers (cuz naturally as driver the wine was all hers 😉) and ‘bangin’ tunes to wiggle to. Was one of the funniest drives I’d ever been in charge of! Now by the time the first few needed chores had been accomplished at our AirBnB, it was gone 9pm so we were ready for some food. Our little rental had been nicknamed Alfalfa by now (after a few well meant but ill fitting earlier trial names, such as me thinking she looked like a fiery red head called Samantha. We’d decided the name should come organically, and my oh my did it ever!! It was like a lightning bolt moment, so brilliant!) and we left it shacked up for the night. This meant time for tapas and sangria! After a bit of wandering around, and trying to avoid the tourist traps, we ended up in the loveliest spot with a charming waiter who could speak next to no English. I loved it. It was €21 for 5 tapas, 2 glasses of sangria and some bread and olives. Bargain! The food was delicious, and the company……amazing 😉.

Once we’d finished up we went to find this beautiful bar that Court had been told about that was elegant yet electic, and around 11pm rose petals were dropped from the ceiling. We got there around 10.30pm, only to find out that the rose petals were only a Friday night event. What a shame!! But nevermind, as the bar was still a sight, and we had a fun time exploring each level and room. There was fresh fruit and veges everywhere, with an old school looking kitchen at the top again with so many fresh veges positioned to please the eye. Court and I were both utterly taken with the place. On our wish-we-were-rich-as-students budgets, cocktails were the things dreams were made of. We bought one glass of rosé wine each…..popped to the bathroom after a bit…..and had our magic refillable glasses all topped up again! These handbag bottles were becoming very handy indeed!

It was a bit hooty tooty though so we did not intend on staying toooo long. The rest of the night was a giggle for sure, but a bit of a bust too. Mallorca was a bit quiet. Apparently the €50 entry fee clubs were where it was at. With our less-than-student budgets we took the party to the streets after a few free bars didn’t really crack the mustard. We had a good laugh out and about causing our usual mayhem and mischief, and got home maybe around 3ish after which I was out!

Before I got to Mallorca, Court had told me there was this beautiful cathedral and that she was waiting for me to arrive to go and see it. So first thing Sunday morning, that was our plan. Turns out this is an actual cathedral. And not just for show or history haha. Oops. There was a full on service happening, and it was the only day of the week they did not allow you to climb to the top. Talk about the blonde (natural) leading the blonde!! We explored externally as much as we could before deciding it was beach time again. The sun beckoned us.

It was a friends bday from the island, and she had asked us to meet her at this ‘hippie’ beach that she loved called Cala Deià. The drive down the final windy road to get to it took about 3 years off my life expectancy I swear!! I was a head achy stress ball wound tight at the end!! The road was insane! Sooooo narrow, and Alfalfa had the turning circle of a boy about six times his size, so there was no way we could make corners with anyone but us on the road. And there were a lot (!!!!!!!) of corners. I did live to tell the tale, and Court and I (especially I!!) were so happy when the blessed car park came into view.

It was like an oasis from some far flung fantasy I never knew I’d had. The timing was quite perfect as the people we were meeting pulled up at the same time as us. We headed for the little beach shack they indicated, which reminded us both actually of a bay on Koh Phangan called Haad Yuan in Thailand for its ruggedness and simple vibes (in a very good way).

Karen, the bday girl, advised me the seafood was the freshest and most delicious part of the menu, so I ordered the calamari. It really was beautifully prepared, with simply fresh lemon, and the portions were enormous. I actually could not finish mine. The food that is. The wine went down a treat (all two small glasses. Yay responsible driver 😉). After lunch came the interesting part of finding a spot to sunbathe in. The entire ‘beach’ was made of of rocks and boulders. Big ones. And it was busy. It was gorgeous, but tricky. We climbed up higher (sorry Court) and found a very uncomfortable but free spot that had amazing views over the beach and beyond the other side. During this time, Court and I sunbathed topless in g’s (when in Spain yeah?) while Karen got stung by jellyfish the poor soul. She left with her friend to get this sorted. As we had our own car we chose to stay a little longer.

After about another hour of laughing and chatting in the sun I decided I was due some water time too. Court left me to it and out I swum. The temperature was perfect, and the water such a perfect shimmering hue. I was luxuriating in its coolness when I suddenly felt a hot burning sting up my left arm and next to my boob. Without thinking I swatted at my side with my right hand, and the pain spread to there. I still couldn’t see anything though!! I swam back to the rocks and clambered out, only to see bright red welts forming where I had felt the pain. Damn jellyfish had gotten me too, the sneaky bastards!! The pain was quite bright, but not wanting to let it spoil my day I decided to just try ignore it. Nothing ice cream can’t fix haha. We treated ourselves and jumped back in the car for the death defying ordeal back to the top. This time it actually seemed a little easier and quicker than the last, and I preserved a few more years on my life!

Now we had heard a lot about the Magaluf area before our trip from a few friends. All pretty bad. Stay away. It’s cheap. It’s tacky. It’s full of Brits. Just don’t. So of course, we needed to see this for ourselves. Just to make sure. You know. Purely research purposes. We set coordinates for it, and off we ventured. Parking was a nightmare, and we found ourselves needing to utilise the supermarket car park, so we grabbed some ciders and snacks and headed beach ways. The beach was pretty enough, white sand and clear water, with greased up Chavs prostate on sun loungers undoubtably sleeping off hangovers from the night before. We saw plenty beefcakes and plastic fantastics. Thank heavens we listened to wise words and did not stay here. However that didn’t stop us enjoying the sun, our ciders and a spot far preferable to any city streets!!

For our last evening we picked up some picnic items from the supermarket, headed over to Karen’s place and got ready for an evening meal on the beach. It was a beautiful beach called Cala Major, and there is nothing more romantic than dinner by candlelight, on a well loved sarong, with the waves crashing in the background. And three other women haha. We had a wonderful night though, chatting and laughing the hours away while indulging in cheeses, dips and wine. Midnight came and went far too quickly before it was time to be dropped off at our Airbnb for a few hours sleep before my home bound flight.

I had such a cool weekend with a special friend, and Spain sung a song to my heart that has her entranced. I cannot wait to spend more time in this spectacular part of Europe, and look forward to the next flamenco already.