The Shrine of St Valentine

Ah Valentine’s Day, the one day of the year where it’s acceptable to hand your other half dozens of teddy bears with red love heart cushions ( I promise, I’m not a bunny boiler). It’s a day for making more of an effort in the lingerie department, and the gift giving department.

I see people all around me checking their phone manically, to see if they’ve received the perfect ‘I love you’ text or ‘ Will you Marry’ me banner hovering above the sky. It’s a day of pure romance, but does anyone actually know the story of Valentine’s Day ( and no I’m not talking about ‘50 Shades Darker’)The true story is all kinds of gross!

I promise I can draw better than this!

The story all goes back to a mysterious, third century Saint who suffered a brutal fate, like some single people I,ve known *chuckles*. According to legend, the Roman Physician and Priest( St Valentine) was beaten, stoned, and beheaded for the crimes of marrying Christian couples.Valentine became the patron Saint of love, young people, and marriages, and in turn ruined February 14th for every single person (like ever).

Valentine’s, February 14 feast day was established by Pope Gelasius I in 496 C.E. There has been much disagreement amongst the Historian community, about whether the holiday was meant to replace the pagan fertility festival Lupercalia, but either way couples make up for this on the day ( romp, romp). As time went on, more romantic connotations came to be associated with Valentine. One legend has the Saint falling in love with the blind daughter of a Judge. He supposedly wrote her secret letters signed “from your Valentine” and then restored her sight from beyond the grave ( bad move Valentine) if you have seen Murials of St Valentine (don’t look down), you’ll know he wasn’t a looker, he should have just kept her in the dark, doesn’t he know ‘love is blind’.

He has the Hipster beard down anyway!

So if you’re single, huddled up at home, crying into a tub of Häagen-Dazs, just remember, Valentine fell in love and was beheaded, stoned and god knows what else, and the only woman he found, couldnt even see his miserable face, so things could be worse.

Hey baby, what’s your OS?

Enjoy your ice cream and Netflix, love can wait.

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