Letting go of our fundamental beliefs because they’re no longer congruent with reality is more often than not a painful process, because no matter how idealistic and unrealistic they are/were, they worked for us at one time. They may have helped us make sense of ourselves and the world around us the best way it could. They may have helped us get our emotional needs met. They may have even helped us survive, even if it was at the expense of others.
Being the habitual creatures we are, we tend to stick to what experiencially works/worked for us, even when they no longer work, even when there are better options available, because to go for more options automatically opens us up to more avenues of pain, which can’t be avoided — freedom and change always has consequences, positive and negative.
Almost none of us, man and woman, black and white, rich and poor, hetero and not, are willing to go through the negative consequences of change, despite the necessity — the only certainty is that nothing’s certain.