Where I disagree with you here is that you believe everyone should accept us as we are.
I don’t believe that’s the case. In fact, it’s impossible for every single person in the world to accept us as we are. This is especially true when we have emotional needs that aren’t being met, and we believe that the only way to get those needs met is from others.
Nobody’s obligated to take care of each and every one of us. Not society (just by existence of people it doesn’t take care of), not the police (see: Black Lives Matter), not men (see: feminism), not women (see: MRAs), nobody. Shit, it’s not scientific law that we should take care of each other. If it was, there’d be no such thing as social issues. Hell, there’d be no issues period. There’d be no negativity, we’d be out in beautiful fields in permanently sunny days blowing dandelions, and hold hands with each other while we’re skipping around a fucking tree.
But that’s impossible. That’s not reality, nor will it ever be reality.
Society’s need for familiarity (which comes from us humans being habitual creatures) and limits (via social norms and values and laws, and the human need for boundaries) renders it impossible to take care of each and every person in its domain. Thus it can’t give us the experience of equality we need, at best not in any way that’s sustainable.
At some point, those of us who want equality will have to stop relying on society to provide that for us. At some point, we’ll have to learn to provide equality for ourselves, with or without support, in our own way. For that to occur, safety has to be thrown out the window, at some point, temporarily at least.
And you know what? It’ll scare the fuck outta us. It’ll cause/trigger rage we never thought we’d have. It’ll break our hearts like nothing’s ever done.
If we want freedom, if we want equality, then we also have to accept all the consequences of embodying those attributes, not pick and mix like religious text. We’ll have to (psychologically, at least) learn to handle anything that comes our way. When we get it, one way or another, that we can handle anything that comes our way, then we’ll feel safe in a way that society can only wish it could provide. And then we can take care of others in a sustainable way.
An empowered person accepts whatever role they decide is right for them, regardless of whether or not their decision and/or the role is accepted by others.