Ten things to never say to someone who is struggling with infertility
Im here to give you a little insight on the every day things I hear since struggling to have my second child. It’s ok if you didn’t know what not to say, I’m here to tell you.
1. “Stop trying it will happen”
The most over used sentence anyone who has not struggled with infertility loves to use. Not only does it make us want to punch a wall it literally makes us feel like a pos. Yeah so we’ll stop trying then what? No baby. You don’t get this because you don’t see the constant ovulation test, temping, or timed intercourse we have to do. Did you know there’s only a 24–48 hour time frame in which a woman can become pregnant? No? Well now you do.
2. “It’s not a part of Gods plan”
Ok, don’t get me wrong I am a huge Christian. My faith stands completely with God. But seriously if one more person tells me it’s not Gods plan I will probably punch you in the face.
Sorry not sorry.
3. “It’s all in Gods timing”
This coincides with #2 again 100% a Christian but As if my negative pregnancy tests and my oh so loved aunt flow didn’t already remind me of this. I DO NOT need you to constantly reminding me that my want for another child is not in Gods timing.
4. “You can just adopt”
Oh man, I LOVE this one. (Kidding) my exact response to someone who says this to me “so are you going to give me the $30,000 I need to “just adopt”?”
5. “Can’t you just be happy with what you have”
I get this a lot because I already have one healthy son. But seriously so your here to tell me you’ve never wanted more then what you have already? Of course I’m happy with what I have but that does not make it hurt any less.
6. “So when are you guys going to have kids?” “Time for another one huh?”
STOP. Both of those questions just stop asking any couple. A. You have no clue how long or if they’ve even been trying to have a baby. And B. It’s none of your DAMN business.
7. “Relax and try not to stress over it”
Hmm. Ok so maybe I should tell this one to everyone who has an incurable diease.
8. “Maybe it just wasn’t/isn’t meant to be”
You might as well just slap them in the face while saying this. So maybe you aren’t meant to get that promotion you’ve worked oh so hard for . Or maybe you aren’t meant to ever have that fancier car.
Get the picture?
9. “Enjoy the life you have now without kids”
Seriously. I know things change after you have babies. You do not have to tell me to enjoy my life. If I wanted to enjoy my life without kids forever I wouldn’t be working so hard to have them. Also key word my, not yours, not ours, MY life. Why are you so worried about it.
FYI I AM enjoying my life.
10. “You can just go through fertility treatments or do IVF”
No. I can’t, because you see I don’t just have a whopping $15,000 lying around. Not to mention fertility treatments and IVF are not 100% guaranteed. Just because someone chooses to go that route does not mean they will have a baby.
So now you know. If you choose to say any of these things I’ve listed above to any couple, can’t say I didn’t warn you. I am not responsible for the response or reaction you receive.
“Words can inspire and words can destroy. Choose yours well.” — Robin Sharma