The First Birthday [In A Long Time!] That I’m Not Totally Scared Of

Elisabeth Tavierne
Aug 24, 2017 · 5 min read

​At 23, I had just graduated + moved back home… I remember thinking, “I’m officially officially an adult… but I’m living in my parent’s house. #SendHelp”

At 24, I decided that I was still “young” — 25 is the year that I’m “old”. GOTTA LIVE IT UP.

At 25, I thought I was going through a quarter life crisis.

At 26, I showed up to my Soul Cycle birthday ride literally sobbing.

At [almost] 27, I’m finally not freaking out [I’M NOT FREAKING OUT! ; )] over my birthday.


​26 was a huge year of growth of me. I went through a lot of changes [+ challenges] in all areas of my life. There was a lot “digging deep” + deciding what I truly wanted out of life. While I think big goals + dreams are important, I realized that it’s how you live your everyday life that matters most. A prayer that I’ve been regularly saying [from A Course in Miracles] is:

​Where would you have me go?

What would you have me do?

What would you have me say [+ to whom]?

This prayer has helped me truly “show up” for the day, allowing me to be present to the day’s priorities — no matter how big or small. It has also strengthened my faith that’s there is a power greater than me guiding me. Of course I still face fear, challenges, stressors, etc throughout each day, but I find comfort in knowing that I’m doing the best I can + trusting the process.

I love who I am, who I am surrounded by, + what I am doing.

This is a sentence that I wouldn’t have said last year. I loved what I was doing — yes, but I didn’t love who I was. This caption [from this photo] sums it up pretty well:

I used to get annoyed at people who posted “selfies” because I thought that they were being vain ++ fishing for compliments… but then I realized it was because I was insecure in my skin. I stopped taking photos for a long, loooooong time [+ still get uncomfortable — even though I don’t show it] because of a silly fear. But then I realized — if I don’t take pictures every once in awhile, how am I going to remember this moment of time? I want to remember little moments… likeeeee, my new nose ring [that fell out today, lol], new freckles on my nose + forehead, pimples at the ripe age of [almost] 27, FINALLY embracing “no makeup”, a smile with a crooked tooth that my mom keeps asking about [when are you going to make that ortho appointment?], smaller boobs because #marathontraining, a stomach without abs + I DON’T CARE — I feel healthy, a weekend where I spent most of it by myself [with Stella] ++ loved every minute of it, a time when I decided that Facebook doesn’t serve me, + a day when I was graced with a sign from God that I’m on the right path. I capture moments in my journal, but I want to do a better job capturing them with a camera… or on vid! I am capable + strong + beautiful + courageous + worthy. I AM SO WORTHY. I am creative + doing my best + loving with all my heart + silly + happy. I am curious + have questions + challenges… but I have faith. ✨💖🙏 I’m sharing this for me… but also because maybe you can relate. ++ if you can, I want you to know: You are worthy. You are here for a purpose on earth. Don’t ever forget that.

I think a big part of my growth is due to my 2017 intentions + theme of being courageous. It feels like these intentions are truly manifesting in me, ++ it feels amazing. I’ve ready to stretch myself more.

You get three wishes on your birthday right? [I think I made that up.] Well, if you did… here are my wishes for myself this year:

#1] Live simply

Magic of tidying it up… it’s haaaaappening! But living simply is so much more than this — it means “simplifying” my life: letting go of noise, a jam-packed schedule, procrastination, half-hearted relationships… ++ instead, only owning//absorbing things that I love or that will make me a better human, + investing in relationships with people who meet me half way on the bridge [as opposed to the — “yeah, let’s get together sometime” that never actually happens]. It’s creating a space, wearing a wardrobe, + using my actions//words to be an extension of my truest self. Love this quote — “have nothing in your house that you don’t know how to be useful or beautiful.” I want everything I own to make me smile.

#2] Be impeccable with my word

This is the first of the “Four Agreements.” If you haven’t read this book — do it. Words matter. “We’re always impacting the world in which we live — through our presence, our energy, our interaction with others. The question is — what kind of impact are we having?” I want to live out my values, ++ make decisions based on my values. It’s important to be okay with saying no, + this is something I’ve always struggled with because I just want to please people. It’s a work in progress. This is also may seem silly, but I want to “speak how I write.” With writing, I’m able to articulate how I feel… but when I speak, I can’t always find the words to properly express myself. Practicing the pause will help with this [I hope!].

#3] Listen to my intuition

I read a TON of self-help books. I recently listened to a podcast when the woman identified herself as a “self-help addict” [I can relate : )]. Then she realized… I can listen to the advice I’m reading, + it will be 50–50 if it works, or I can ask myself what to do, + it will be 50–50 if it works. She decided to start “going with her gut” because intuition is a muscle… ++ like any muscle, you must put in the work with practice before you develop it. I thought this was a really interesting perspective. I still read a lot because I truly love it — but, I want to spend more time in meditation + journal + prayer to see what that little voice inside me has to say. Once I hear it + follow the call, I must surrender ++ let go, + let God.


Besides those wishes, I’d love an endless supply of kombucha + bulletproof coffee, gatorade chews, empowering words, + lots of love. My birthday is August 31st if you want to send a prayer to the big man upstairs that he continues to guide me on the right path. Thanks friends.

++ Elisabeth

ps // 27 is a really freaking cool number. I’m already feelin’ like this year is going to be special. ❤

)
Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade