How to truly “LET GO” in 5 steps.

A guide on how to end karmic patterns.

How many times have you heard it? “ Let go”. It’s definitely one of new-agers favourites. I hear it so often but I see very few people being successful at it, also most don’t really understand what it means. New Age loves to send folks off on a tangent instead of back Home so, if you truly want to let go of something you’ll need to skip bypassing bs and be willing to go deeper asking yourself a couple of questions. The first:

yes, you want to let go but, do you know what are you holding on to?? Exactly.

What do you let go of if you have no clue of what you are holding on to?

This is why most people fail and end up stuck in the same cycles. You think you want to let go of your fears, limiting beliefs, toxic relationships, a job, unloving thoughts, judgment, your ego, negative emotions, whatever it is that makes you feel disatisfied and unhappy in your ife.

Once you have your intention clear you get super motivated about it. “I know what I want to let go of and hell I’m going to do it!” Yeah, right. And then new setbacks and obstacles get in your way and you end up being beaten up to your core. You do try a couple of times more, miserably fail and then convince yourself that the “Universe” is conspiring against you, that your desires are stupid ideas, that you’ll never get what you want and be happy, you were a fool to think you could change your life and so on.

Disappointed and frustrated you resigned back into your unconfortable-comfort-zone, give up and wait for the “Universe” to have pity on you and do the dirty job instead of you because by then, you are too afraid and disempowered to do it yourself.

However, why your expectations haven’t become real? Why the fear you tried to get rid of transformed into a badass bitch instead of a loving caress? Why the toxic partner didn’t just vanish but found new ways to make you fall back into their spiderweb? Why your thoughts built new intricate self-defense synapsis that you can no longer control? Why is that you can’t free yourself?? Because,

letting go doesn’t mean giving up!

This is what you are trying to do, to give up. You are looking for a way out of your misery but you are not willing to take responsibiity for how you created it.

There’s no way out in life, the only way is through.

What you try so desperately to let go is not something external that doesn’t satisfy you. Do you know what is it? It is your very own self. You are trying to bypass yourself to get into a happy land, yet that is not outside but within you.

Whatever you see in your outer world is an expression of your inner world. If you want to change something outwardly you first need to transform it inwardly.

This is not an other New age bs but quantum physic. Nobody put sabotaging thoughts in your mind. The ego is not an unwated host that you obliged to carry along your journey, neither you have been forced to stay with somebody that you don’t love for example as nobody has tied you up to a frustrating job, etc. More than anything G/d doesn’t want to punish you.

All this is just an externalisation (or projection) of what you believe yourself to be and ultimately, of what you believe yourself to be worthy of.

If you want to let go of something by giving it up you are going to have a very hard time trying succeeding. And here I have an other question for you:

who are you giving it up to exactly??

Quantum physics also explains that all is One. Interconnecting energy vibrating at different rates (frequencies) that creates what we perceive as matter, there’s no separation between you and me and another. So you are basically giving it back to yourself. Not very smart. So, how do you do this, how do you free yourself from what you no longer want?

It is a 5 step process. The first step is to embrace.

Whatever it is that you are not ok with. Whether it is your fears, beliefs, your job or relationships etc.

1.Embrace however the situation is and makes you feel.

I want to emphasize what embracing means by giving you an example about my work. As part of it I also facilitate shamanic ceremonies and it’s where I learned the most about embracing. I help people meeting the unknown, and it’s probably what we fear the most together with death. When the moment of journeying comes, no matter how relaxed they are, fear always kicks in, rightfully.

Some years ago I used to tell them to let go and for some brave ones it worked, for most though crossing the threshold with ease remained a challenge. After I went through my own understanding, I started explaining how to embrace that special moment rather then letting it go. It changed everything and since then they’ve been all stepping into the Cosmos like they do out of bed :).

This applies to everything in life. Feel it all. Accept it. It’s there for a reason.

What you are uncomfortable and discontent with, it is oftentimes also what liberates you.

Fear is your ego’s protection system, based on all the memories that you have collected since childhood and that slowly created the reality you see. An expression is an “ex-press-on”, an imprint of an inner quality onto an outer form, as an impression is the inverse process: an external form imprinting a quality onto the inner world.

As children we are easily impressionable and collect datas that we then express during the course of our life, although we are not aware of this and we end up identifying with a false sense of self defined by our fears (false evidence appearing real). The good news is that

as you created it you can also transform it.

The second step is

2. Find out what you are holding on to.

I had a client yesterday completely stuck in a toxic relationship for over 10 years, desperate to free himself and be happy but feeling completely powerless to act. It touched me deeply for personal reasons. I will take this as an example as it is a very good one.

Let’s say you want to let go of this worn out relationship. You know you want it, you no longer love your partner, the relationship is no longer fulfilling, you have grown into different needs, you have it all clear and you have tried everything to separate from them but you didn’t get the results you expected.

Every time you try life kicks in with more challenges and set backs. Perhaps they don’t want to understand what you say, you are not able to express yourself clearly, other people get in the middle, unexpected technicalities surf up, kids, finances, fears of what others will think, etc.

What you are trying to let go of is not the person, it is how the person and the situation make you feel.

Some people don’t think too much and free themselves in a blink, others instead need to let go of the feelings and the overthinking first because that’s their teaching.

On a subconscious level what you are trying to let go of is the part of yourself that feels in a certain way respect to the situation and the other person but in doing so you are also making yourself wrong and that creates resistance and denial.

Everyone is different but in this example we have a case of co-dependence unworthiness and guilt. Probably many would resonate with this because we are collectively in a time of release of karmic relationships.

Therefore you probably feel guilty because you think you have failed, you let others down, you believe yourself unworthy of a better life and true love, you might also believe that to love or to be loved is somehow not safe and perhaps that all relationships are doomed, that this what you have got and you have to endure it, you don’t have the power to change it, etc.

You are convinced of all this but you don’t know it, you therefore see reality in a distorted way and sabotage yourself with little choices that then create setbacks and illusionary difficulties.

Some common self-sabotaging choices could be: overworking, finding excuses, lying, take on too many things, make promises that you know you won’t keep etc. All to get to feel more guilty and victimised and to get you more entangled in your own illusion of powerlessness.

If this is your case let me tell you that you have chosen that relationship in first place so to become aware of the feeling of unworthiness and guilt you were carrying inside long before meeting them, probably at the core of this there is a deep wound of abandonment.

You might not see it and therefore you feel yourself as a victim of the circumstances. I can garantee you that you are not. It may be uncomfortable to take but It was your doing all along.

Life is not out there to punish you and neither to blame you. Until you don’t realise this you will not be able to let go and you will repeat the cycle endlessly. You will believe yourself over-responsible for others and not worthy of a better place.

Probably once you will realise it you will feel immensely guilty, regretful and ashamed of all your choices, the lies and compromises. However, it’s good because they need to be purged out of your system.

The most important thing is to forgive yourself and have a lot of compassion.

It all got triggered by childhood wounds, ancestral or karmic and you are in the situation you are so to have the opportunity to transform them and be free. You are actually a warrion of light, not a victim. So, what’s the solution to this?

Embracing whatever is that you are feeling, whether that is guilt or unworthiness, shame sadness or anger, will allow you to name the beliefs that play in your mind and discover what is that you are holding on to.

Here comes step three, four and five.

Life is a journey back into union with your Self, your Soul. We separated from the Source and forgot who we really are, we are here to experience what to be united whitin means.

At our core we are already complete, unified and Divine.

We are made of Infinite Love and Joy and all other Divine qualities. People are on our path to makes us aware, through the process of reflection, of the layers of conditionings, fears, pains etc (ego) that we have built up on top of our Divine core.

We get so entangled in the ego that we don’t see the truth anymore, and the more entangled the weirder are the things we do (cheating, blaming, lying, compromising, hurting, judging, denying, running away from who really loves us, etc).

If you embrace all of yourself without judgement, it will allow you to feel something within yourself that you have never felt before.

A new level of love that goes deeper than the distorted interpretation based on compromises and sacrifices you have known so far, all hidden underneath your own self-judgment.

When you find that Sacred Place within, you discover who you really are and the Love you are made of. Only from that space you can then let go, because the way out has been cleared and you no longer need a person or a situation in your life to show you where you feel un-Divine. You will only want next who mirrors you back your divinity.

Now, taking the example of the relationship two things can happen. First scenario is that the partner magically vanishes. Congratulations, you are free! That can happen only if there are no further self-empowerment teachings and you haven’t been dragging the situation for a life spam.

In the second scenario you will have to speak your truth. If you have spent a life time compromising who you are and your freedom and built a whole life around it, learning to step into your power and communicate honestly is definitely a teaching you will have to embrace.

You will never be truly free till you don’t decide to be fully honest.

And that takes courage.

Do not panic though, because if you follow the process you will come to know clearly your truth and who you really are and honesty will be the only truth as well. When you are clear and aligned the messages you deliver will also be as clear.

No more endless conversations, you will speak from your heart with honesty and clarity not leaving any space for misunderstading. Setbacks and obstacles will surely appear on the way in the process of liberating of yourself - when a castle falls down it doesn’t just vanish, it leaves ruins and they need to be taken out of the way.

However, what before you thought to be insurmountable difficulties now you will see them for what they really are: obstacles that you have the power and capacities to overcome. It might not be easy but it can be done. I trust you now can see clearly that from this state of self-love there’s no more space for bullshits and you will be able to make supportive choices and end endless cycles of pain.

To summarize in steps:

1. Embrace and accept the situation without making yourself wrong.
2. Find out what false idea of yourself you are holding on to.
3. Love it unconditionally.
4. Embrace the deeper truth of yourself, your own Divine nature.
5. Make choices that match the truth of who you are.

Let’s see this applied to something more abstract. What if you want to let go of your issues with money for example?

First embrace and accept the situation withouth making it wrong. You are broke, fine, you don’t have to like it but judging won’t change it neither. How does not being financially free makes you feel? Find out what idea of yourself you are holding on to. Is it the belief that you are not worthy of having more? Perhaps you wouldn’t trust yourself to act with integrity if you were wealthy? Once you find out, whatever that is, how wrong it may seem to you, love that part of yourself, it really just needs love and attention. This is the most important step because

activating love compassion and forgivness for yourself is what allows you to access the deeper truth of who you are and to see past the illusions and limitations of your ego.

Your ego is just a defence mechanism, it is not the enemy!

You are not miserable, not a victim, not incapable, not powerless, not unworthy, not alone. None of this. You just can’t see the truth of your nature of infinite Love and Abundance because the veil of your ego.

Talk to yourself, you can tell something like “I commit to love all of myself ” and just go all the way!

Love that part of yourself that believes to be limited and then invite the part of yourself that is your true identity to come out and express itself freely. Focus on that rather than conpulsively thinking about how unlucky or incapable you are because you are not rich.

You think you are not wealthy because you truly believe yourself to be incapable or maybe unlucky, but the truth is the opposite: you falsevely believe yourself incapable therefore you are not wealthy.

Finally, from this space of truth you can then let go of habits that no longer serve you by making choices that are in line with it. You see how it works.

You can take take a notebook and write this process down with something of your choosing.

You can’t transform your life if you don’t take time to go inward and process.

Also you can’t force a flower to bloom. When the seed is ready and the outer conditions aligns only then the flower can bloom. Same for us humans. Our responsibility is to make the seed ready (our inner world, which we have control over) then the outer world will align and the wheel of manifestation will turn.

To understand what we are holding on to can be a difficult process, especially if it’s something you have never done before and you’ve been carrying for a long time, I want to remind you that there is nothing wrong in looking for professional help.

I hope this was helpful and I wish you many happy “letting go”. We all deserve love and happiness. Because it’s the truth of who we are. Remember that, and as my best friend says, we are all as Divine and as fucked up as anybody else. Be kind and loving to yourself. We all do the best we can with what we have.