Bye Bye Blockbuster

Blockbuster Video has decided to close down their remaining 300 stores, which is 292 more than I thought were still left. Still though, hearing the news is pretty sad as it’s the end of an era.

I remember heading over to Blockbuster Video as a kid. After 7pm on a Friday or Saturday night you were pretty much screwed in terms of finding a “good” movie, so time was of the essence and having a strategy was essential.

My mom would wait in the car while my three sisters and I would roll into the store like a Tasmanian Devil ball of kids.

I’d yell, “OK GUYS. SPREAD OUT. MEET BACK IN 5!” Then we’d each target a different corner of the store and move inward. I’d usually tackle New Releases because I was the tallest and could reach the higher copies. Then we’d reconvene in a huddle ten minutes later.

“OK did anyone get Mighty Ducks?”

“It’s out.”

“Damn. Alladin?”

“I got it!”

“Awesome! Wait. You grabbed the wrong box, stupid. That’s the empty one. You need the box BEHIND the cover.”

“But…”

“Seriously, you need to haul ass right now to the shelf before someone else gets it!”

(sister runs to the shelf and runs back)

“Someone else grabbed it. I got Beethoven though.”

“Ugh. Couldn’t you have grabbed something good?”

“There’s nothing good left.”

“YOU’RE nothing good left.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Stop it. Mom’s honking her horn. We need to decide. NOW.”

“Let’s just get Beethoven.”

“But I don’t want to see Beethoven!“

“OH WELL. Tough tits, toots.” (a personal favorite of my sister’s back then.)

And then we’d hop back in my mom’s car, drive home, gather in front of the television and eagerly open the case.

“CRAP-O-RAMA!!! (another favorite of my sister’s) They gave us the wrong movie again. I guess we’ll have to watch this one instead. Anyone heard of the Red Shoe Diaries?”

My mom: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO