one.
One year ago I stepped into the scariest unknown of my entire life. I knew that moving to the city would come with its challenges, but I never expected it to wreck me and shape me in the way that it has. To be honest, I wasn’t sure I would even make it through a year in this city. Nothing in my post-grad life felt natural to me — I found myself waiting for trains, waiting for friends, and waiting to return to the comforts of my safe little suburban life where essentially everyone looked and acted like me. Not to mention, my full time job was essentially living out the Devil Wears Prada IRL. It was hell.
I remember this weekend last year sitting in my new apartment staring at my family as my dad fiddled with the car keys. They needed to leave for the long haul back home, but I had like, ZERO chill and was trying to convince them to take me with them. I will never forget asking through my sobs, “Why am I doing this?” To which my mom replied, “This is your dream, Elizabeth. You are here because this is your dream.” I didn’t realize it at the time, but she was right. She also deserves +150 mom points because in that moment, she definitely could have said, “You’re right, sister. Let’s take all this junk back home. Life will be easier there.”
A year ago, I did not know that within the following twelve months I would meet friends from literally all over the world. I didn’t know that I would bravely walk out of my first job. I didn’t know that I would spend nearly three months unemployed. I definitely didn’t know that I would learn to love Valentina on hot chips, how to actually make tortillas or that I would jam out to Latino music on the reg. I wasn’t expecting to join the corporate world and I wasn’t expecting to get lost on the bus so many times. I never expected that I would be driving a van of teenagers through the South Side or that I would happily take a whipped cream pie to the face. You can bet that I didn’t expect the tears through airport security or that time I hit a biker with my car (HE’S FINE, OKAY.)
Life in Chicago has been no joke. But, you guys, Jesus met me here. Our whole lives can get turned upside down, but Jesus doesn’t change. I have learned to love and listen to people whose stories are so vastly different from mine, and truthfully? I understand Jesus better when I do. Living in the city has shattered my idea that a comfortable, white picket fence life is normal and what I should strive for. The messiness of the city is hard and ugly and dangerous, but in the face of that, I have met people who have embodied courage and grit and grace.
Will I spend the rest of my days surrounded by skyscrapers and a lake that feels like the ocean? Not sure. But for now, Chicago is home and I’m thankful.
