Fight Like You are Fighting For Someone Else

As I sit here typing this, I am laying by the pool of my west-side apartment sipping my morning coffee. From any onlookers I probably look like I am living a pretty nice life. I have a job where I don’t have to go in until 2, I am fairly in shape, and I look like a pretty typical young adult white female. No one could tell from looking at me that I am in pain about 23–25 days out of the month, my life is often controlled by chronic nausea, I struggle with bloating to the point I cry because I feel fat, my stomach has a mind of its own, and I have enough prescription pills to look like a drug dealer.

Now, I am not sharing any of this to receive pity, because the fear of being pitied is why I have stayed quiet about this for so long, but as I have become more open about these things I realize I am not alone. I realize how scared almost all sufferers are to speak up.

This process has made me aware of an issue I consider much bigger than just my everyday symptoms. Why is it ok for so many people to be suffering in silence? Whether it is from something that colors my world like endometriosis or depression or something like anxiety, asthma, or IBS, people go through life just trying to manage their symptoms instead of having a doctor help them find a cure and living life to the fullest.

I recently watched a documentary called Endo What? which explains that 1 in 10 people have endometriosis — that’s more than the number of women affected by breast cancer. Yet the word endometriosis is still foreign to most ears and appears spelled wrong on most computers. If so many people in this world are affected by this one disease that no one has heard of, then are there other diseases and illnesses that people suffer from on a daily basis that are ignored on a public level?

I am baffled by the idea that there are millions of people in the world who are not living their life to the fullest, but then I realize that I am one of those people. I am suffering on a daily basis, yet I too stay quiet about my problems because I am afraid that I will look weak and am embarrassed to be in public on my sick days. In the Endo What? documentary one phrase really stuck with me, “You have to fight this battle like you are fighting for someone else.”

To me, this phrase made perfect sense, I was always the first one to jump to help someone when they are in need, something I learned from my mom who also suffers in silence most days. Why is it that we don’t feel comfortable saying we need help, yet we can kill ourselves trying to help others? Maybe it is because that is just how many of us were raised, but it is a way of thinking that we need to change in society!

We need to start telling those we love, “Hey I am having a rough day can you please be patient with me?” or by taking that leap and going to see a doctor, even though it may be embarrassing. If that doctor doesn’t help you, then go to another and another until you finally find someone who will listen and help you fight this. If those around you will not support you in your fight, then you do not need them in your life. Sadly in today’s society many doctor’s will write you off if you do not have the most common illness, do not let this happen to you the way I did for so many years. I had a heart disorder that could have killed me if I never got it checked, yet I had to wait 13 years and go to a slew of doctors before they even found it. It was a hard process getting that diagnosis. I felt alone and like it was all in my head because specialist after specialist told me I was fine, but if I didn’t fight, then I may have had only a few years left of life. Please keep going from doctor to doctor looking for answers. Even though it is mentally and physically taxing, it could save your life.

Is fighting for yourself easy? Not at all. As I finish this post, I am sitting on the bathroom floor not asking my roommate for help, so I’m not a very good example at asking for help. But next week I am going to see a new doctor, so I’m taking baby steps. I know that you cannot just start fighting overnight, that’s not what I’m asking you to do. I’m asking that you remind yourself everyday that you are worth fighting for and that over time, you can gain the courage to speak up. If everyone did this, maybe we wouldn’t have unknown medical problems that affect millions of people, and the overall quality of life will improve. If you do not suffer in any way, please use this article as a reminder that those around you could be suffering silently and be kind and understanding to everyone you meet.

-Elizabeth