What you *don’t* seem to see is the flip side of it: that, if women respond with calm steadiness, often men use *that* as a reason not to get involved. After all, if it were really all that bad, wouldn’t the woman be more upset? Wouldn’t she be getting loud and desperate? If she isn’t, then she’s probably exaggerating the trouble, right? And anyway, if it had really been bad, the men probably would’ve seen it anyway.
Ken, first of all I wanted to say that I really appreciate your original article.
Nora Rivkis

THIS. We are damned if we do, damned if we don’t. As someone who has gone through the process of reporting sexual assault to the authorities not once but twice, I can assure you it’s not fun — it can be even less fun than the original crime itself. If that’s the reaction I get when I report sexual harassment/assault to people who are paid to care, what’s the point of reporting it to people who aren’t?

That’s mostly a rhetorical question, of course, because Ken enumerated plenty of valid reasons…but I don’t blame any victim for not wanting to endure the ridicule, shame and defensiveness that all too often results when women report this crap.

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