On Self Care
Self care is a fairly popular term in today’s pop psychology realm. It is not a pretty girl sitting in her perfect bathtub with a glass of wine and some candles, though it is often portrayed as such. It can be that — sure. However, everything about that aforementioned scene paints a picture of luxury, and therefore does not actually depict self care, nor the conditions that usually bring about the subject.
Self care is something that looks different on every person. It is not a luxury — rather, it is a crucial and unwavering necessity. And yes, it’s first world — the ability to dedicate intentional time and effort towards self improvement of any kind is truly a privilege denied to the vast majority of humans throughout time. Only recently have certain communities been granted the opportunity to pursue such self advancement. In times previously, the focus was on much more ‘important’ things, like finding food and securing shelter. However, this has little to no impact on the importance of using our ability to take care of ourselves today. I mean, there are certain parts of the world (some of which are a lot closer to home than we’d like to think) where something like receiving proper treatment for cancer would be seen as a luxury — an expensive thing that may not even be possible. This does not take away from the fact that if one is sick and dying of cancer, treatment is very necessary.
Additionally, mental health as a whole is a relatively new experience in humanity’s evolution. And though we have made many, many advancements, we have also created an overwhelmingly pressure ridden society, filled with obstacles and variables that no human generation previous to us has had to consider. With the rise of social media, the stark increase in population, and broader ways in which society has changed as a result, it is no wonder that 58% of U.S. adults have reported going through some sort of bout with clinical depression at least once in their adult life. For many, this battle is a daily occurrence.
Self care is not just a woman in an upper-middle class bathroom taking time to herself. It’s getting out of bed when your alarm goes off because you know that otherwise you’ll waste your morning asleep and as a result be depressed for the rest of the day. It’s deciding to brush your teeth before bed more often than not, because even though it doesn’t feel important you know that it is. Self care is making time for people who bring you joy, despite your busy work schedule. Self care is also eliminating people from your life who take your joy away — it’s making the decision to walk away from anyone who makes you think of yourself as anything other than the awesome vessel of light that you were born to be. It’s eating meals and drinking water and trying to get good rest. It’s the simple things, it’s the little things, it’s the necessities.
I know for some people all these things seem easy — not too complex, these are areas in which many people tend to excel. However, for a person suffering from mental illness of any kind (remember that mental illness, like all illness, is a spectrum… some people have stage four cancer and others have a scratchy throat and a stuffed nose, but either way these things distract from and ultimately lessen our quality of life so long as they are present), these things are damn near impossible.
Except they aren’t. Actually, they very well may be the way out of the mess.
Without further ado, here are some non-romanticized self care tips I’ve discovered:
1. Get out of the house. Go grab a coffee. Go for a walk. Drive somewhere else to study or work. Getting yourself up, dressed, and en route to some sort of destination (however small) will make you feel loads better, I promise. I don’t know if it’s letting the sunshine hit your face, or remembering that you are, in fact, completely not alone as you step into the hustle and bustle of the outside world, but I do know that it’s a lot harder to waste your day in bed when you’re on the go.
2. Do. Your. Thing. And don’t give me that “I don’t have a thing”, because we both know that’s bullshit. Maybe it’s reading or writing or painting or drawing. Maybe it’s piecing together outfits or singing songs or playing some sort of sport. Maybe it’s reaching out to other people and helping them work through their problems. Or maybe it’s makeup — makeup! Whatever it is, even though it feels like you won’t enjoy it, I promise you that if you stick with it until you do then you’ll feel loads better — like a true and genuine champion.
3. Look at the sky. Seriously. The sky, at all times and without cessation, is a beautiful and poignant representation of both the effortless interconnectedness of everything as well as the vast mystery that is our universe. You are a part of that. Remember it.
4. List every beautiful thing in your life, and acknowledge that they are the product of all you have brought forth — all your successes, sure, but also all your shortcomings. This is an entire topic of it’s own. As overdone as it may seem to write a gratitude list, the benefits are ridiculous. Not only are you reminded in the face of all things hopeless that you do in fact have much to live for, but you also get the chance to reflect on how all the tiny imperfections have come together in your life to create a beautiful collage of your existence.
So there you have it, kids. Take care of each other. Take care of yourself.
