What’s wrong with them? How could they…

Elizabeth Kennedy
Jul 21, 2017 · 4 min read
photo courtesy Alan Watts Free Speech FB page

Oprah Winfrey interviewed Charles Eisenstein last week. Charles spoke about his perspective, about what he sees happening and what is possible. Charles made it clear at one point, that when we judge others as wrong (and ourselves as better than that) — when we believe

I would make a better choice than you!!

it’s because we don’t understand the other’s experience. We absolutely do not get what it is like to be that person, live in their shoes. Charles points out that we would make the *exact* same choices if we had the totality of their life experience.

This simply expressed piece of wisdom from Charles:

“Any judgement of ‘I’m better than you’ means there is a deficit of understanding.”

So clear.

I see the places where I’m quick to judge someone with a different political belief, where I’m quick to make them wrong and myself better. Charles points out that this is like a hit of your addiction, temporarily satisfying, but in the long term does nothing to cure the underlying problem.

I see the places where I quickly condemn those who strike out and hurt others (in every way, from emotional manipulation to mass murder) and forget that I have that capacity in me — as we all do.

This is not condoning that behavior, it’s recognizing it as human and seeing the places in me that have done that, even in the tiniest (and unfortunately not tiniest) ways.

Most of the time I have compassion and empathy for the other, but not always, and not when I’m stressed, or not feeling well, or some other thing is playing out for me which takes up a lot of my energy/attention. This, to me, is a reminder that ‘hurt people’ hurt people, and that we all have our own places of challenge. It reminds me to slow down and listen. Slow down and listen to myself, and listen to the other. Feel with my feeling sense what is really going on.

The American philosopher Ken Wilber says the primordial human contraction is turning away from some piece of truth.

So I ask myself, “Where am I turning away? What am I refusing to look at? What can’t I own?”

I see a habit of turning away from the other’s pain — a desire not to feel the pain of what it is like to be them, a self protection mechanism learned early on. I do not want to acknowledge that pain and feel it. I want to make them separate and different in a way that insulates me and makes me safe.

What brought me to this topic today was Alan Watts, a memory from last year on FB.

Alan Watts: “I think this is the most important thing in Jung. That he was able to point out, that to the degree that you condemn others, and find evil in others, you are to that degree unconscious of the same thing in yourself. Or at-least of the potentiality of it.

There can be Eichmann and Hitler and Himmler’s just because there are people who are unconscious of their own darksides and they project that darkness outward into say Jews or communists or whatever the enemy may be.. and say, ‘there is the darkness! It is not in me, therefore because the darkness is not in me I am justified in annihilating this enemy’ whether it be with atom bombs or gas chambers or whatnot.

But to the degree that a person becomes conscious that the evil is as much in himself as in the other, to this same degree he is not likely to project it onto some scapegoat and commit the most criminal acts of violence on other people.”

photo by Ezra Jeffrey on Unsplash

When I truly look, listen and feel, this photo breaks my heart. I let it break me open. I feel pain, and I understand activism… and different choices. I feel overwhelming love and compassion.

Photo by Madi Robson on Unsplash

I look at this precious child’s eyes, and I see complete dissociation, a lost soul, a child in desperate need of loving attention. Then I imagine the thousands of children like him, and I start making up all kinds of stories in my mind. So I stop the stories. I just sit here with the photo, and all I can do is be with him in my heart. All I can do is love.

It’s easy to do with children. But it’s even more critical to do this with adults.

With the President. With the man on the bus. With my neighbor. With my family. Let go of “they should” anything.

When I am present, truly present, the ideas and stories drop, and everything becomes simple: I am with you. We are one.

Action steps: If this resonates with you, please click the heart, and please share it with a friend or friends. I welcome you to follow me on Medium.

Love, Liz

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Elizabeth Kennedy

Written by

I'm passionate about helping you experience more peace, joy and ease in your life. ConsciousCommunion.org

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