coping- writing exercise

Today’s will be (most) of a writing exercise I did.

It reads:

“To cope, me and my brain have tried a lot of things. My brain tends to start feeling confused and disconnected from reality to cope a lot of the time. … I’ve also used smoking to cope w/ what happened. I suppose I have also used denial at the beginning to cope. … The smoking hasn’t helped anything, that’s for sure. My brain’s coping mechanism of feeling confused and disconnected has made my life very difficult. It has caused problems and made it nearly impossible to work or be alone for long periods of time. My brain’s way of coping is very inconvenient but I guess I understand why it does what it does. My brain and body don’t know that I’m not in danger anymore.”

Thanks for reading.

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the effects- writing exercise

this blog post will be from my journal, a writing exercise i did from a book which will hopefully help me heal from my assault.

it says:

“Way I am affected by my assault. My ability to have a normal sexual experience is out the window…

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there’s so much of it happening at one time. i’m going to start a new job. my partner is going to start a new job. we’re going to have to find a new apartment. i’m going to see a new therapist. i’m also going to see a new psychiatrist.

i am terrified. i haven’t worked at a normal and decent paying job… pretty much ever. i don’t know how i’m going to handle it. i don’t know how i’m going to manage my PTSD at the same time. i’m excited but i am so, so terrified.

there are so many things i don’t know.

there are so many things that are out of my control.

i just want a break from difficult things but everything is difficult for me.

thanks for reading.

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I’ve had trouble holding a job ever since I started working. The best I’ve been able to do is 2 years, but it was off and on. I worked at a decent amount of places for short periods of time, but found it very difficult to stay at any place…

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