Does this sound like the behavior of a designer that has stopped caring about their craft? Maybe, but I prefer being an average designer that creates something rather than an amazing designer that delivers nothing. When you learn to manage the fear of failing, and you give yourself more room to make mistakes, you start having fun creating. The quality of your work will organically get better over time anyway.
“But Ellie if you knew college was expensive, why did you go?” Tell me, Christopher, how else is a first-generation American Latina woman with no money supposed to be taken seriously and have a shot at success in this country where a man who literally said all Mexicans are rapists is being taken seriously in his presidential bid? How are you supposed to make a name for yourself when you know that Latina women make 56 cents to a white man’s dollar in professional fields? What if you’re one of the lucky ones who has supportive parents and wins the financial aid lottery and this is your only shot out of a cycle of poverty? Wouldn’t you go too? I’ll wait.