It’s taboo…but it must be talked about…Self Harm
Self-harm or self-injury is when someone does something to damage their own body. It can go on for years and is more common than most people realise. For some people self-harm is part of coping with difficult feelings. Some people may only self-harm once, while others may continue to self-harm over a long period of time. Self-harm means that you harm yourself on purpose. Self-harm isn’t a mental health problem but it is often linked to mental distress. It is common to self-harm in secret. You may do this because you feel as though your thoughts and feelings are not acceptable to other people.
Self-harm can be both distressing for you and your loved ones. This is because they may not be able to understand why you self-harm. People self-harm in different ways such as the following.
- Cutting
- • Burning
- • Scalding with hot water
- • Banging or scratching your body
- • Sticking sharp objects into your body
- • Eating or drinking things that are poisonous
- • Not letting wounds heal
- • Take too many tablets, known as an ‘overdose’
- • Misusing prescribed or illegal drugs or alcohol
- • Over exercising
- • Starving yourself
Self-harming behaviour can be difficult to stop, but there’s lots of help available. But before we get on to that, let’s look at why people self harm. Many factors come together when looking at why a person self-harms and one of the big ones is stress. People typically begin to self-harm because they are under more stress than they can handle. This stress leads to anxiety and this anxiety becomes overwhelming. You are more likely to self-harm if you:
- have a mental health issue such as:
- a substance abuse issue,
- depression,
- anxiety,
- borderline personality disorder,
- an eating disorder,
- are female,
- are a young person,
- are in prison,
- are an asylum seeker,
- are a veteran of the armed forces,
- are gay, lesbian or bisexual,
- have lost a loved one through suicide, or
- are a survivor of physical, emotional or sexual abuse as a child.
You may self-harm to try and show others how you feel. Some people may think that you are attention-seeking. This is a common misunderstanding. Most people try to hide their self-harm behaviours from family and friends. Some people may self-harm to communicate to others how they are feeling. But this is unlikely to be the only reason behind the self-harm.
Self-harm can be a way of feeling in control of your body or your environment. You may self-harm if you dissociate so that you can feel real. Dissociation means that you feel like you are detached from yourself, or from reality. You may self-harm so that you feel ‘normal.’ Self-harm may be a method that you use to stay in control of your day to day life.
You may self-harm to punish yourself for feelings or behaviours that you think are your fault. Even if you didn’t do anything wrong, you may feel like you hate yourself. This is a common reason why people self-harm. You may not understand why you feel like this. You may not be able to link your feelings to something that has happened.
You may punish yourself through displaced anger. For example you may be very angry towards a person or a situation but you are unable to tell the person how you are feeling or sort the situation out.
No matter what reason you harm yourself, there is help available to overcome the feelings you have been dealing with.
What to do if you feel like self harming?
It may seem as though it’s impossible to get out of the cycle of self-harming, but you aren’t alone and there are ways you can help yourself stop. For many people, recovery from mental health problems starts with a decision that they want things in their life to change. Then identifying triggers is the next step. Ask yourself if there are certain situations or circumstances that make you feel like self harming (i.e. time of day, being around certain people or talking about certain subjects?) This may be helpful to explore with another person. Exploring your emotions is a must. How do you feel before/after you want to self harm? (i.e. depressed, anxious, misunderstood, lonely, etc.) How long does the feeling last before you want to self harm again?
It’s really helpful to confide in someone you trust. Admitting a problem exists is the first step to recovery. Tell a loved one who can offer a helping hand or be a sounding board for what you are going through. You are not alone, and it’s important to surround yourself with a strong support network. Sometimes professional help is the best step forward. Visit your GP or find a Psychotherapist/Counsellor/Psychologist as all of these individuals will either help you, or can refer you to someone who will provide individualised treatment. Working with a professional can help you not only identify the issues surrounding the self harm behaviour, but also help you learn to emotionally regulate yourself. ❤️❤️❤️
Ella McCrystal – Clinical Psychotherapist/Hypnotherapist & Business Owner
