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I want to tell you about how I thought we would grow from each other in this relationship. How we both valued personal growth as something that we could gain from each other as partners. And how the fact that we seemed to agree on this made me feel like we were a great fit. How, at least from my perspective and from our many talks, it felt like we understood each other and wanted the same things and valued the same things in relationships. I thought you valued me for my kindness, loyalty, thoughtfulness, intelligence and generosity, but in…


One important thing I learned.

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I wish I could write more prolifically here on Medium, but the Muse only visits when my heart is broken or when I’m feeling any particularly strong feelings about anything . So here I am now.

Before the pandemic started, I met a lovely person with whom I connected on a deep level. We chatted via text for a few months before meeting in person in late January. Things were going very well and it showed a lot of promise, but the pandemic began and we were all placed in quarantine. This took away time we could have been spending…


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The coronavirus crisis has had the nation and the rest of the world in a headlock for about a month now. I live in New York, the hardest hit state in the US so far. I, like probably 99% of the population of the US and the rest of the world, feel like my life has been turned upside-down. I am pretty sure that there is nobody that this crisis has not touched.

I think about how people say they look forward to things going back to normal. I don’t believe there will be any going back to normal when…


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When you leave behind things that you have outgrown — friendships, romantic relationships, habits, beliefs, etc. — the initial lightness that you feel is temporary. It soon gets replaced with a heaviness as you realize that your world no longer looks the same. And for a while, things don’t feel right. They don’t feel wrong, either — they just feel different. You don’t know what to do with this different because you’ve never been here before — and you can’t go back to what you knew, because it no longer fits you. …


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A few weeks ago, I was supposed to see a movie with one of my best friends and I lied to her about why I couldn’t see it when we were supposed to. Lying to her about something like this was new to me, and I found it interesting that I chose to lie instead of be honest. But why did I do it?

I had a severe panic attack at work that day. When I have severe panic attacks, I take them as a sign to back off from activities that aren’t necessary and instead prioritize time to myself…


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It’s been 3 weeks since we last had contact. And it’s also been a lifetime. It amazes me how much can change in such a short amount of time, in the span of a day, let alone a few minutes.

I miss you. And I still love you. But I am no longer longing for you, for our past. The tarot readings I watched religiously to give me hope about our connection no longer hold my interest the way they used to. Because it doesn’t matter what possible energies lie before us — what matters is what’s actually here (or…


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My wounds feel most sensitive in the morning. I feel them most acutely upon opening my eyes. I’m blanketed by the feeling of not wanting to go out there and go about my day because it feels like an added burden, but as soon as I’m out and about I actually feel better.

When I feel this way, I sit up in bed, close my eyes and just feel the soreness, the tenderness of my emotions. I feel my fragility. And then I turn to the higher being I believe in,which I interchangeably call God or the Universe, for help…


I am grateful for my belief in a higher power, which communicates with me in my darkest moments and sends messages to my soul that it knows are undeniable truths. I am grateful that I am able to be open to receive these messages, which give me something to hold onto in the middle of the storm.

I am grateful for waking up in my bed this morning, the lovely sheets that I have selected for my cocoon, from which I emerge every morning. I am grateful for another day to do better.

I am grateful for the fact that…


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A simple way to unleash your creativity.

I became a certified life coach through JRNI last year. I wanted to help people in a similar way my therapist helped me with my own transformation and personal growth. I didn’t have the time or the resources to go to therapy school, so life coaching became my path. But since getting certified, I’ve been having trouble putting myself out there. Some of it was impostor syndrome, but there was also an overarching issue that was getting in the way — I wanted to help people.

You’re probably wondering, “How could wanting to help people be a bad thing?”

Wanting…


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Hello Anxiety.

I feel you coursing through my body, all nervous agitation and tight shoulders as I sit outdoors at this cafe on this cool, breezy Sunday morning in June. I welcome you with friendly acceptance, don’t worry, I won’t push you away this time. I know you’ve got a lot to say because I’ve spent so long trying to ignore you until you became a shouty, petulant toddler screaming for my attention.

You had quite the tantrum yesterday. You were so fussy I had to cancel dinner plans, stay local and take care of you until you calmed down…

Diorella Manzano

Certified life coach, lover of books and writing. Words are my paint and the blank page is my canvas. I write about anything that crosses my mind to write.

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