Hookups

Wade and Marx Ferree

I found this chapter to be depressing. All of it is stuff I already knew to be true but reading it in a text book just makes it worse. I think it is so unfortunate the amount of worth that is connected to a woman’s looks. A man can make up for his bad looks with other good personality traits but if you’re an ugly woman then tough luck. It is so hard to have self confidence for girls when we live in a world that works this way. One thing that I never thought about was the different aspects of party life for different students. I live on campus and take fairly easy courses right now so to me, every weekend means going out. If I don’t go to at least one party I feel like I did nothing that weekend. I never considered the people that commute to campus or that have big work loads. I am impressed by people who have jobs, take classes, and still manage to have a social life because I know I couldn’t do it.

Guyland

One thing that jumped out at me in this chapter was “effortless perfection.” I am envious of anyone that can accomplish this however, I think the notion is ridiculous. Girls have to look perfectly made up but still look natural as though they didn’t spend an hour on their hair and makeup. Lets be honest even the natural look takes time and is usually (unless you’re really lucky in the looks department) is not actually natural. On top of that you have to be really smart without coming across as too know-it-all, really fit and athletic without coming off manly, and don’t be too trashy or slutty or easy…but still be sexual. It’s a nearly impossible illusion that boys are looking for. I also found it interesting to read about the idea of spontaneity. Everyone likes to think their weekend hookup after the bar is spontaneous and no one wants to admit that they took many steps to plan just for this moment. But spontaneity doesn’t actually exist in this situation. If you’re a girl and you make the decision that tonight you want to hook up with a guy you have to shave your legs, pick out an acceptable outfit, make sure you have on nice underwear, maybe bring extra lipgloss in your purse, so on and so on. It’s almost humorous to see a girl getting ready for her Friday night.

Callis

It seems obvious after reading this but I had actually never thought of the sexual binary. I think most people raised in this generation are more aware that sexuality can be fluid and a person may not simply be straight or gay. It is kind of sad that there is such a big emphasis on the binary. I found this line to be particularly intriguing; “twice rejected,’ both from the straight population for being too queer and from the queer population for being too straight.” When you are in the majority it is hard to imagine the struggles that others go through and this was kind of an eye-opening line showing how we must be more welcoming and accepting. The idea of borderlands was also interesting because on the outside looking in it is impossible to create categories for this because it is a person’s own identity and to an outsider it either looks heterosexual or homosexual when in reality it could be any variance in between and outside.

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