The world laughs at you when you only date one person. They think you’re naive and dumb and should go out there and see what the world has to offer. But I know what the world has to offer. It’s men in their twenties who behave like twelve year olds, superficial dating apps where men don’t favor overweight short Latina women who wear prescription glasses and list “writing” as a hobby, and people who aren’t as smart or as funny or as honest as he is. It’s a swamp filled with cheap condoms and roofies, and I don’t want to wade through it, thank you very much. My truth is that I will never find anybody as good, and I shouldn’t even bother.