… take this pain into myself; hold it in my body and be grateful that it is not greater than it is. If I must speak on it, I must do so demurely, voice down and legs crossed, hands in my lap and eyes averted, knowing that it is not my place to speak out about the daily violence that patriarchy and its cohorts wreak on me and mine. I am hurt, and I am told to be quiet about it.
ity of consent. And rapists who do that get away with it because we focus all our energy on the (potential) victims r…about how any absence of consent is in fact rape (see this series of Medium posts with Doc Ayomide). But not understanding consent because of a lack of comprehensive sex education is not to be conflated with actively choosing to override, ignore or completely eliminate the possibility of consent. And rapists who do that get away with it because we focus all our energy on the (potential) victims rather than on the actual rapists.
…an’t believe I’m burning my own credit for this. But then I remembered something I recently learned: I have nothing to lose by speaking up when someone is harming me. If they truly care about me, they will listen and adjust their position. If they don’t, they don’t truly care about me and I’m better off alienating them by insisting on being treated well.