This is not a Biography…

My blood is boiling,

My heart is booming,

I have a blood that is moving.

As I approach my thirties,

I apprehend my fifties,

Only God knows if I will pass the twenties.

My future and my dreams were in brackets,

At this time, all I want is to take a junket…

This is my Storia Percoso, my “Elle don’t drown, no”.

And if I were to drown, know that my heart never doubts.

I am passionate, whole, dream of passionate love.

My mama once told me: “Elle, you are a star”; for I knew she was quoting James Blunt.

I wish I could tell her: “Mama, I saw the world from every angle, numb of stitches. From wearing and tearing them, they got me, yes, my freaking injuries”.

I knew too little, I was too agreeable.

Little I knew it would go that far. Little I knew he would pull the trigger…

“Bang Bang”…

“Baby I love you too much to overhang…”

“Mama… Mama… I am a star”, I thought as my body was slowly fading.

I knew I was fizzling,

Little I knew I was dying…

I live on the sidelines of this world after I’ve tasted hell.

Oh! How it is dark down there when you are lost without your lantern.

I have to admit, yes it is true, I made a detour to a place where happiness is found in drugs and syringes.

A place where doctors compare themselves to God, pretending to read my heart.

All liars, traders of hope. It is just I had a big heart to have an illusionary future.

Truthfully, I am like everyone else, half-wisdom, half-anger. But then, they told me: “You are sick for life, you are bipolar”.

My face marked by my demons, I lost my temper…

It is funny how in this world, there are people that love you when you sink, they are happy when you reach rock bottom. But when I was reaching people’s hearts, they were dying of jealousy; so happy that Elle dies, even thought it almost happened…

Now, Elle is arising,

Today, Elle is flying,

I call it my rebirth.

At the end, it is always the real ones that support me; those that love me no matter my mood.

At this time, if I swear I am fine, it is because behind me you can come across Arian.

Sometimes, I ask myself what I would do if death knocks on my door and tells me you have 10 minutes left…

Mama, you deserve all the diamonds in the world. You did not raise a quitter Mama, you raised a warrior since everyday is a war for me.

Mama, my blood is boiling,

my heart is booming,

I did not change my name, I just changed my direction.

I am too sensitive for this world, but I will thrive by God’s grace.

I am nowhere near from where I used to be,

I am nowhere from being Elle…

I was once asked, Who am I. I said, “I am the child of the Almighty, I am a daughter, a wife, a mother. I am the role model people are looking for, I am no queen, but a Kingdom…

I am Elodie B. Rothonca…

Rothonca Shujaa…