Figuring out how to Live Life After “Work”
It’s been 2 months since I stopped spending 8+ hours a day investing in how to forget myself and my heart. After almost 13 years, it no longer dawned on me that my time was solely for the purpose of another person's gain. After about 6 weeks, I came out of the haze of anxiety and fear that I would not only die alone but do so broke. I’ve decided to start slow, 4-hours a day at the local cafe “working”(which means whatever the hell I want it to mean) and 1-hour of Spanish practice.
Learning a new relationship to time. I’ve had 9-hour work days, followed by 2-hours to decompress from said 9-hours, then dinner/drinks and sleep routine for as long as I can remember. Rinse and repeat M-F. The change was like a break-up. Without anyone “needing” anything from me, no deadlines in sight, time feels plentiful, bountiful and free.
But, that freedom means I have no one to ask, “what should I do”?
In the last 2 weeks, I’ve started to chill the fuck out and magical things have happened. I’m trying any and everything. I am beginning to sense who I can be and what I am capable of when not being directed or motivated by another person's needs. In the last 10 days, I’ve done the following:
1.Started an Etsy shop, selling dope handwoven Oaxacan dresses that I’ve become obsessed with. Maybe I’ll make a sale maybe I won’t!
2.Started blogging on Medium about the shit show that has been my dating in Mexico.
3.Started a weekly playlist for a hip-hop party I hope to start in Mexico City.
4.Made a website, no damn content, but I made a website.
5. Applied to Bustle as a sex write, because why not. I love writing about, talking about and having sex, might as well have a reason to document it.
I have no idea what will stick or where any of this will lead and that is ok.I’m reimagining my life.
it is my own, for better or for worse. So for now, I will continue to learn Spanish, live in Mexico and prosper.