Dear Me, Love Always, Me
I found this journal entry from April last year and thought I would share (it is edited a little). I hope you enjoy it.
Dear 15-year-old Me,
It’s your 32-year-old self here. I’m unmarried with no children, no job and no financial prospects. You could help me change that. You could make all the difference. Although I’m in no way qualified to give advice, giving it to you my dear, I think is acceptable, considering you are, well…me. You will most likely not action this advice. After all you are fifteen and think you know everything. I’m going to give you this advice anyway. Here goes:
Stop being so hard on yourself – you are a good person and you deserve better. You can try and try until you die, but you will never be perfect, especially from your own point of view.
Liking yourself/loving yourself is NOT egotistical – it is HEALTHY. Unless you think you’re better than anyone else, which you don’t – you believe we are all equals, which is true.
Be your own best friend. That is, be NICE to yourself.
You will never know anyone who knows you better than you.
Take care of yourself as best as you can always. You are the only person that is 100 percent invested in you and your life.
You are good at some things and not so good at other things. Embrace it – it is you getting to know yourself.
Be picky about romantic relationships – you certainly have no obligation to say yes. Think about why you want to be with that person – what they can give you and what you can give them. If it is a one-way street or your goals and life objectives do not complement theirs – it’s time to get off the train, no matter how happy you think you are. As a side note, you don’t need to take all relationships that seriously! Do you even like the person? Are they your friend? Remember you always have options and although it’s difficult and it can feel mean, sometimes the best (and kindest) option for both parties is just to say “no” and move on.
Quit smoking NOW! In fact, don’t even start! It is totally not cool. You will not believe how much money and life you will waste if you continue to foster the habit of smoking. It’s not worth it and your beautiful singing voice. (that’s right, I said BEAUTIFUL) will eventually be affected.
Do what you enjoy doing. Do not strive to do what others expect of you because that won’t make you happy. Ever.
You are NOT FAT. There is a reason why you were asked many times if you were going to be a model when you grew up. Think about that. Savour the flavour of looking amazing as you will be physically,emotionally and mentally traumatised by illness and antipsychotic medication by the time you are 20. You will double in size and not even be able to look in the mirror (without having a breakdown) for years.
Men will try to take advantage of your caring and gentle nature – don’t let them. Don’t give away your personal power to anyone! It is yours and you can stand in it without any danger. You are going to need all the strength and help you can get for all the wild wind that carries you along this path we call life.
Listen to your body – it is wise and never lies. You need to take care of it so you can take care of others and become a light-worker and healer.
Follow your heart – your intuition is invaluable – embrace this as it gives you the ability to help others.
Be active – your body will thank you for it later in in life.
Don’t worry too much about what other people think of you – it is what you think of yourself that is the most important.
Sing all the time!
Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t be jealous – it’s a waste of time and energy. Just admire the person, reflect on that quality in yourself (you will find it is present in some form somewhere) then move on.
Practice relaxation and meditation every day. Practice mindfulness as often as possible.
Listen to music as often as you can and don’t go a day without it. Music lights up your soul so it is shining bright like the brightest white light that ever did shine. Likewise, your mood will drop if you don’t allow yourself daily melodies. And harmonies.
Don’t be afraid to try something new – be brave. Even if you are no good at it, at least you had a go.
Beautiful music needs to be shared with the world. Write it, perform it, record it. Inhibitions are normal and will fade with time as long as you keep practising.
You meet and make friends in strange places – don’t take it for granted that they will always be there – one day they may disappear from your life unexpectedly, never to return again. Such unexpected disappearances can happen at any time with anything or anyone. Never take presence for granted.
Forgiveness plays a substantial part in mental and emotional health. Forgive yourself for everything you regret. Forgive everyone else for anything you hold a grudge about.
If you need help with something, ASK. It will be very rarely be offered – you need to be brave and ask for it. The worst that could happen is getting “no” for an answer. If you can accept that, anything better is a bonus.
Never stop writing, even if what you are writing is terrible. Practice every day and you will get better. That goes for everything you want to get better at.
Always be open, honest and free with communication and be prepared to accept the consequences.
You are a smart young woman. Don’t rush to make a choice about your career – you can do almost anything to which you put your mind.
Stretch and do yoga.
Stay in touch with friends and family near and far.
Read every day – you won’t regret it.
Don’t be mean – it doesn’t suit you.
You will make tons of mistakes. Don’t hold onto regrets and/or upsets – mistakes are the biggest key in learning how to be a better person. Not better than anyone else – just better than you were before. Striving to become a better person is beneficial for you, others and the entire planet.
Many people will come in and out of your life – some may not like you and some may think you’re very special. Don’t get down about it or let it go to your head. Stay balanced whilst not overthinking things.
Do whatever you love and love whatever you do. If you follow your heart, the end result will mean more happiness for yourself AND the people you care about that care about you.
Hold onto your youth because it fades unfathomably quickly.
Remember to love yourself or you’ll never love anyone else honestly and without conditions.
You are a spiritual warrior on a quest to find inner peace and to assist with creating peace on Earth and in the universe.
Keep your eyes peeled for opportunities to spread and share love.
You can heal yourself and others with energy – you don’t need a certificate to do it. Use your intuition. It is not possible to harm anyone when your intentions are good.
Never stop dreaming.
Lastly, everything will be okay – have faith. Everything always works out in the end. If it hasn’t worked out, the end is not yet present.
I love you and even though you think you hate yourself, take another look. You are good, you are kind and you are worthy. Be who you are and live in your heart – then the rest will fall into place.
Loving you always and forever,
Ellen (32 years old)
5th April 2016
So, tell me friends, what advice would you give to your 15-year-old self? I’m sure there’s much more I could have said.
It’s been lovely chatting today – if you read this far, thanks so much for the glorious gift of the presence of you eyes, your mind, your heart and your soul. It is always appreciated by me.
Love, Luck and Light,
Call to Action
I challenge you to relax for a while today. Just do nothing. Give your batteries a charge and allow yourself to not be busy, even if just for 10 minutes. Much love X
PS please like and/or share if you enjoy what I write. Thanks!