How To Learn To Be a Good Friend.

I am a good friend?

I hope so, I give my nearest friends all time of my life to them, I give them love, I give them things, I give them courage and I give them my trust. But sometimes I don´t feel the same. I never question myself about the things I do for them. Never.

But somedays I can´t hold it, I can´t be the one they trust. I talk with friends about other friends to actually learn to be that good friend they can trust. It´s hard to give everything and not getting anything back. You know the person you can be yourself with and you know who will lift you up when everything is falling apart. But non of them is actually the perfect friend. Who is perfect? no one.

To be a good friend you have to be there when the person is not feeling good or when the person have done things that you maybe can´t relate to. A text message dosen´t mean a thing, Actions always beats intentions. To get in a fight with a friend is never good for anyone, your soul gets bad and your mind can´t understand life. The pleasure with a good friend is that you fight and end up being good friends again in only five minutes. Because both of you know that life is to short to get mad at each other or getting misunderstanding with one or another. But that´s not how it is.

Today I feel that girls is getting more judgemental by each other. We make huge conflicts with the ones we can´t respect that we actually calls for “best friend”, I don´t belive in the word best friend. You can have close friends and friends, but best friends? It get so hard, beacuse then it´s like being in a relationship like this “you can´t hang out with other friends because that friend gets mad at you because you hang out with that girl that happended to kiss your ex boyfriend” Seriously? We should lift ourselves up, girls against the world?I don´t know. The thing I know is that we talk bad things about each other, we don´t respect the female. We don´t care about our relationships with the female group anymore. Instead we rather talk about boys or other girls. I get so mad, why is boys and other girls looks a subject to talk about ?

I grew up with two big brothers I know what boys are thinking and I know how they fart… but I have never seen them fight with there friends like me and my group of girlfriends are doing. We, girls should learn to not underestimate each other, not to analyze every little thing we do.

How easy is it to say your thoughts about a person you not feeling comfortable with, just say it to that person, just say what you are thinking. Life gets so much easier and that is to be a good friend. To explain your messy mind to each other all from the positive thoughts to the negative thougths.

I started to do that, somehow I learn that life is so much more then fighting about clothes or a guy.

People who press you down and the people that lift you up to the sky. Those people are good for you. They make you learn about the questions you never say to yourself.

Why do the press me down? ask them.

Why do you lift me up to the sky? make them feel the way they make you feel, lift them higher up, to the moon.

Always forgive yourself for being not a good friend and move on. Don´t make it worse, don´t type that long meassage that the first sentence is “I care about you…” no, be cool and show your actions go home to that person with a cup of coffee and a really nice cake and apologize for what you said or did.

  1. Never fight with the love you get.
  2. Show you actions they speak louder than words.
  3. Show the friends your messy mind ,your thoughts about them, question yourself why you talk behind there back, jealous? sad? attention?
  4. Be nice and positive , because someone is having a harder time then you have.
  5. Never underestimate yourself.
  6. Call the person and ask about life. Texts is never a good idea, somehow it ends up missinterprets with each other.
  7. Give alot of love to the person that makes you happy.

Life is easy it is how you do it. To learn to be a good friend you have to be there in real life when they actually need you and be never afraid of saying the things you want to say or the things that you are not comfortble with.

AND have fun, laugh, spread love, cry when you need to, call and talk about cookies or frogs and be yourself.

“Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurt themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it´s all over.”

-Gloria Naylor