This is absolutely stunning. Written like a metaphor but harshly, distinctively NOT a metaphor. I always feel compelled to resort to metaphor to describe mental illness, or worse, explain it in metaphors that someone else used (and i wouldn’t choose) like “battle.” Why is it a battle? No idea. Has anyone who has used this term ever fought in or seen a real battle? It involves strategy, of that i’m sure. I have no strategy here. It’s more like floating/sinking/extracting myself from a La Brea tar pit. My tar pit depression. Though that doesn’t mean much to anyone either. So I go back to “battle.” These metaphors are so trite it becomes truth. Wrong truth. We have to strip away the misleading illusions, which do more harm than good in making it seem even more airy and nebulous, and just speak to IT. But that is so, so difficult. You’ve done it brilliantly. Used lovely metaphor where appropriate and otherwise unveiling a very real response to life with this illness. I’m massively appreciative of this post.