No risk, No growth

Today I was remembering the hour before day break when I tip toed around mounds on a beach. We were all so careful, unlike children. All of us circling around in a moon lit haze dazed by excitement, the kind you hold your breath for. I felt that somehow my own purpose would hatch in those eggs. I was looking for courage, the kind I wanted, to rise beneath the salty sands that weighed heavily. So much of my own self was burried. That’s why we were there with our flashlights and our silence; we wanted to give chance a chance.
Such tiny soldiers marched towards the licked shore tasting the trail of their instincts to dive into something foreign. They didn’t seem to hesitate the way I always did frozen by my questions.
Not all of those sea turtles survived their shells, the grains above and below them. Not all of them wet their noses or fended the beasts ahead.
That night my heart sank into dark corners where the waves had devoured the light. I resented the odds and became terrified of Chance. I risked nothing and in doing so, much of me shriveled up on that beach left to die before making it out to sea.