Disclaimer: I am engaged.

Disclaimer: I say really annoying things.

OK then, let’s get to it. Here is my personal Top 5 Most Annoying Things Brides-to-Be Say list.

1. I’m marrying my best friend. Unless your fiance actually was your best friend before you started dating, just stop saying it. I don’t blame women for thinking they should say it. Every “cute” couple says it, and admitting the opposite (“he’s not my best friend”) sounds horrible. But guess what? It’s really OK if you don’t think of your partner as your best friend. Frankly, what a dig at your actual best friends! You know, the ones who have been with you for years through thick and thin. A husband isn’t supposed to be a catch-all replacement for the support system you’ve had up until this point. There are different people in your life for different reasons. When you need to complain about work, doesn’t it make more sense to vent to a coworker who shares the same experiences? When you want to cry your eyes out because you miss home, wouldn’t it feel better to talk to a sibling? Sure, you can discuss any of these things with your fiance, but he’s not the only one you should turn to, and he likely doesn’t have the perfect solution to your every problem. Besides, he already has a title that speaks volumes to how you feel about him—fiance. He doesn’t need another one. Disclaimer: Of course there are couples who are legitimately the best of friends, and it’s awesome. But they are rare and usually don’t feel the need to announce their best friendship to everyone.
2. My accent color is [insert cool-sounding color here]. Cantaloupe, sunflower, blush, sage, acai. What happened to the basic color wheel from elementary school art? What’s wrong with red, blue and yellow? Those regular colors still exist, but they can’t possibly be wedding colors! They don’t express who a couple truly is or give off the right mood at the wedding. Nor would brides be able to spend hours debating the merits of one color palette versus another on Pinterest. So please, don’t stop at one color. You must have a full-on wedding color scheme and it must include ridiculous names like those you find on paint cans. (I mean, who wouldn’t want mayonnaise as their accent color?) Disclaimer: I am having accent colors at my wedding. I’m just not calling them that.
3. I’m not your typical bride. No one wants to be a bridezilla. No one wants to be just another bride. We want to be laid-back! We want to be special! But at one point or another, every single one of us is like every single other bride who has come before us. We’re excited to get married, and we want to talk about it sometimes. We’re stressed out about planning, and we want to vent about it sometimes. Unless you don’t enjoy talking to anyone about your wedding or you don’t stress out at all (I’d like to meet you), you are a pretty average bride and there’s nothing wrong with that. Let’s save the bridezilla term for those people who actually are instead of making that the standard and placing ourselves above it. Disclaimer: I have thought of myself as “not your typical bride” several times during the wedding planning process…and then I’ve immediately kicked myself.
4. Our wedding is going to be different from everyone else’s. Similar to #3, but on a larger scale. Also similar to #3, you’re wrong. Your wedding is not going to be 100% unique, no matter how hard you try. Unless you decide to get married by a bum under an overpass on a Tuesday morning, you’re going to have a wedding that is like most other American weddings. It’s not necessary or important to have a unique wedding. It will be special because it involves you and your fiance. Anyway, even if you do have a “different” idea, by the time your wedding rolls around, it’ll be a trend already. Just ask anyone who had a rustic-style wedding in 2012. I know, I know—but the mason jars were your idea first! Disclaimer: I spent a good chunk of time trying to find unique flowers for my wedding. Until I realized that what I really wanted were yellow billy balls, just like every single other bride on the face of the planet right now. Doesn’t change the fact that they’re ADORABLE (and match my accent color, sunshine yellow, perfectly).
5. I’ve been waiting my whole life for this. Sad! Come on, ladies. Your whole life? This is the pinnacle of your existence? What about that time you made it through a really difficult situation or landed your dream job or got accepted to college? And think of all that is still to come post-wedding. There are so many other events that are as wonderful as or better than getting married. This phrase is particularly irritating when it comes from young women. You are 25! I know it feels like you’ve been waiting an eternity, but come on, you haven’t been waiting that long in the grand scheme of things. Disclaimer: I recognize that it’s hard to put into words the feeling of finding love, especially if you’ve had bad relationships in the past. So cheesy phrases like this can come in handy. Let’s just agree to blame ABC’s The Bachelorette for making this phrase seem acceptable.
6. BONUS: He proposed, I said yes! Ick, just ick. It’s quite obvious to everyone in the world that you said yes by the fact that you’re announcing your engagement (/plastering photos of your giant rock on social media). No need to be cutesy about it. Now, what I’d really like to hear is, “He proposed, I said no.” Drama, drama, drama. Disclaimer: I don’t remember what I said to people or posted on social media when I got engaged, but I’m sure it was some version of lame.

What are some other annoying things brides-to-be say or do? Those of you who know me, feel free to call me out for some of my own cringe-worthy phrases. There’s still time for me to become an atypical bride.