Tom Hiddleston, We Love You (Again)
We all owe Tom Hiddleston an apology.
On Valentine’s Day 2017, GQ released the defining interview of his career, a hit piece full of backhanded compliments and simmering just under the surface with the kind of pettiness usually reserved for catty high school feuds. Journalist and author Taffy Brodesser-Akner, who now writes about Taylor Swift for the New York Times, so finely crafted her humiliating portrait of one of Hollywood’s fastest rising stars that it permanently altered the public’s view of him, the final blow that knocked him off the pedestal as a the front-running James Bond candidate and relegated him to doing weird, sad Chinese vitamin commercials. Was Taffy out for revenge as part of some elaborate blood feud? Did Tom personally wrong her in some way? Perhaps run over her beloved dog or family member with his Jaguar?
No. She was just capitalizing on the Hiddleswift Phenomenon.
In 2016, international pop star Taylor Swift fled her relationship with DJ Calvin Harris for none other than Tom Hiddleston. After dancing together at the Met Gala, their whirlwind romance took the tabloids by storm. Over the next three months and across the pages of every gossip rag, she paraded him through Rome, Rhode Island, Los Angeles, Sydney, Nashville, New York, and even his mom’s seaside town in England. And Tom was happy to be paraded. They kissed on rocky beaches and in the Colosseum’s ruins. They strolled in quaint villages with his family and danced at her famous friends’ concerts.
And of course, they frolicked on the Fourth of July, when he donned the infamous I ❤ T.S tank top that made him the summer’s hottest pop culture punching bag, a moment that he’d never live down. A quick google search will reveal any number of vicious and conspiracy-laden Post-Tank Top articles like this one from the Daily Beast inferring that Tom is a desperate, whipped famewhore. “I’m usually not one to force someone into a stifling box of heteronormative machismo, but Tom Hiddleston kind of needs to grow a pair,” said this particular writer about his innocuous tank top. Her viewpoint was certainly not unique.
Just as quickly as it began, Taylor ditched Tom, abandoning him to sing the loving praises of Joe Alwyn, an actor with an unimpressive career and a hatred for being in the public eye. On her 2017 album Reputation, Joe was the starring love interest and hero; Tom, the sad, naive figure of the song “Getaway Car,” the Clyde to a Bonnie who was all too willing to betray him, vanish, and let him take the heat. The Hiddleswift Saga’s legacy was one of enduring strangeness and confusion. Conspiracies abounded. Was it all a publicity stunt? Performance art leading up to a music video? (Yes, that was a real and incredibly stupid theory.) Was it a calculated move to draw attention away from Taylor’s Kim/Kanye feud, or to drum up fresh attention for Tom’s chances at securing the James Bond role for himself?
And then…. The GQ profile. Originally published under the extra-mean title “I Heart T.H,” it was a work of journalism so embarrassing, demoralizing, and emasculating that it proved two things: 1. Hiddleswift had, on an emotional level, been real — for Tom, at least, and 2. It had destroyed him. All that remained was the broken shell of a man cooking bolognese alone in his kitchen, desperate for company and praying no one would notice how sad he was. But Taffy noticed. We all noticed, and at the time, most of us laughed.
As Taylor’s side of the story was revealed on Reputation (and tangentially through other songs about the origins of her relationship with Joe on successive albums), it became clear that Tom had been used to some extent, the lovestruck “Getaway Car” driver who taxied her between two relationships. He’s completely erased from the narrative in her song “Mastermind,” the Midnights song about how Taylor strategized to date Joe from the moment they met — a moment that pre-dates her splashy Met Gala dances with Tom in front of fellow attendee Joe. Tom’s only referred to as “the nearest lips” and “the wrong guy” in the Evermore song “Long Story Short.” In “King of my Heart,” She makes harsh mention of Tom’s car (a Jaguar) only to say Joe loves her so much better in spite of not owning any nice things (yeah, I don’t know why she thought that was a romantic thing to say about Joe either, but whatever). And in “Call It What You Want,” she sings about wearing Joe’s initial as a sign of true love, even while mocking Tom’s initial tank top in her “Look What You Made Me Do” music video, his greatest shame dragged into the light once again as Ms. Swift’s troop of male dancers reveal I ❤ TS shirts at the snap of her fingers. Despite all the romantic tableaus of Hiddleswift holding hands at the seaside and exchanging kisses in cafes, there are no love songs in her catalogue for Tom — he appears only as a tragic, trusting figure to pity, when he appears at all.
Seven years after the infamous GQ article, as Taylor prepares to re-release Reputation, she is more famous than ever, and the public is infatuated with her latest romance with Super Bowl star Travis Kelce. She wears his name and number on custom accessories and jackets at every football game. He talks about her with adoration on his podcast and in press conferences. They kiss to uproarious applause after her concerts and on the field. At the playoffs, they sported matching bracelets of their initials. Online, fans praise Travis for being “the first” to love her so openly and without fear of her fame and the trials that come with it.
If I were Tom Hiddleston, I’d be putting my fist through every wall I could find.
In 2016, an I ❤ TS tank top and the earnest aura of a hopeless romantic were enough to all but ruin a Swift Boyfriend’s career. Sure, he’s got his Loki show now, but outside of Marvel, Tom wasn’t cast in a single prominent film role between the GQ profile’s 2017 release and 2023. Pop culture journalists even declared he was unfit to be the Internet’s Boyfriend anymore due to his cringeworthy behavior. So why is Travis Kelce earning the praise of Swifties all around the world while poor Tom remains a mostly overlooked ex in the grand Swiftian sweep of history? And why were these two men perceived so differently by the media and fans?
In the era of Hiddleswift, jokes about Taylor’s dating life were a national pastime. Songs like “I Know Places,” “Dancing With Our Hands Tied,” “Peace,” and “Slut!” all reflect on the very real peril of dating Taylor in the glare of such a vicious public eye, and her own anxieties at never finding lasting love because of it. She has compared dating her to diving into a fishbowl — or in Tom’s case, a plastic pet shop bag that was being shaken like James Bond’s incorrectly-made martinis. Meanwhile, the public delighted in talking endlessly about how Taylor dated SOOOO many men (it’s actually, in hindsight, a very normal amount), how ALL her songs were about blaming her exes for wronging her, how she could NEVER be single for long, how her every move was calculated to sell more breakup songs to silly lovestruck teenage girls (see: Taffy’s pre-Hiddleswift, snarky article about exactly that. I’m starting to think that Taffy might just be mean).
In light of that, Tom’s lovesick puppy act made excellent fodder. Here was another man dumb enough to fall for Taylor’s wicked trap — and this one was even degrading himself by being branded with her initials in a silly shirt. Then along came Taffy to portray him as the fool on a global stage, the final nail in the coffin. By the time “Getaway Car” was released, in which Taylor herself proclaims he should’ve KNOWN she’d dump him like that, the general public was in agreement: Tom brought that heartache upon himself by getting involved with someone like Taylor Swift.
It may sound stupid to blame sexism for what happened to Tom’s career post-Hiddleswift — he was, after all, one of the biggest male stars in the world at the time. But in retrospect, it does seem that the public was so primed to hate a famous, “over-exposed” female pop star that the sexism swirling around her dating life rubbed off on Tom and stained his career too. Compare this reaction to another Taylor ex, Harry Styles, who got no heat for ending his on-off, tumultuous relationship with her by leaving her alone on a boat so he could go hook up with models (see: “Is It Over Now?”). But Tom fully, unabashedly committed to her without apology or shame, and people assumed the only explanations could be a degrading publicity stunt or complete idiocy. When the public is ready to judge a woman for dating too many men, it’s no crime to humiliate her, but it’s surely a crime to let her humiliate you.
When the public is ready to judge a woman for dating too many men, it’s no crime to humiliate her, but it’s surely a crime to let her humiliate you.
Between the end of Hiddleswift and the launch of her 2017 Reputation era, Taylor essentially disappeared from the public eye, trying her hand at having an entirely private relationship with Joe, who refused to speak about her for years. But Tom shrunk away from the spotlight as well, leaving social media and putting up firm walls to keep prying eyes away from his personal life. The GQ article reveals a kindhearted, honest man who is willing to be vulnerable and look a little foolish; that man is now gone, at least publicly.
Now, Taylor is infinitely more famous, an icon so enormous that she seems untouchable compared to the climate of 2016. While there are still jokes and stereotypes about her dating life, they’re met with more resistance, and a wider segment of the public now accepts that it’s probably okay for a 34 year old woman to have dated several guys in her lifetime and turned her experiences into art. You know, the way male musicians have been doing… forever. Meanwhile, the same earnest, hopeless romanticism that made us point and laugh at Tom is making us cheer for Travis Kelce. (I’m not including the weirdos who think Taylor’s existence is ruining the NFL in this assessment. Those people are freaks who don’t count.) Crowds in Argentina cheered when Taylor changed a lyric in “Karma” to reference her new boyfriend, who blushed in the VIP tent. Even the Japanese Embassy officially supports their relationship, having recently weighed in on if she’d be able to make it to the Super Bowl after her Tokyo concerts. Hiddleswift’s jetsetting romance was met with mockery everywhere they went, but it feels like the whole world is invested in seeing Travis and Taylor fall in love. Well, at least we’ve grown as people, or maybe we’re equally nosy but in a nicer way.
But still. Tom should be allowed to punch a wall if he feels like it.
As the world gets swept up in the Swift/Kelce fairytale romance, many people have forgotten Tom and his sad plight. Perhaps it’s for the best that their gala dances, Roman Holiday, beachside strolls, and All-American Fourth of July canoodling stay buried.
But I haven’t forgotten. I’ve never forgotten. And I’d like to put forth a bold argument:
Tom Hiddleston is the best Taylor Swift Ex.
He has never trashed her in the news, or indeed even spoken about her in the media since the GQ article — she’s on his list of no-gos for interviews. And in that article, even in the depths of his sadness, in between making bolognese and reciting “Under Pressure” to a reporter after crying in her hotel room, he had nothing but kind words to say about Taylor. He didn’t wrong her, didn’t dump her, didn’t cheat on her, didn’t belittle her talent. He introduced her to his mom and his friends. He stood by her during the Kim/Kanye drama. His fatal flaws seemed to be driving a nice car, being a little too starry-eyed behind his rose-colored glasses, and wearing a cute tank top to make his girlfriend laugh. We’d all be so lucky to have a boyfriend like Tom Hiddleston, whose only real crime was loving too much, too soon, in front of a mean-spirit world that takes everything in bad faith.
Two weeks ago, I was at a cafe in Los Angeles, talking with friends over mimosas. Our conversation circled back to Tom, as it often does (you may have noticed: I’m completely insane). “I just want to let the world know what happened to Tom Hiddleston. I want people to remember what they did to that poor man,” I said.
A waitress overheard and gasped. “Oh my god, what happened to Tom?” Her voice trembled with worry. “Is he alright?” We told her that yes, he was fine, we were just talking about the unfair treatment he’d endured as a Taylor Ex. She breathed a heavy sigh of relief. “Oh thank god he’s okay. Poor Tom. I’m here if he needs me. I’d do anything for him.” No one is reacting with such genuine affection and care about Joe Alwyn’s well-being, I’ll tell you that much.
And in that moment, I sensed the shift: Tom’s hopeless romanticism, once the trait that doomed him to being a punchline and a passing mean lyric in a song, has become a reason to think of him fondly again. In a world of Tinder dates who don’t care if you live or die (and of Joe Alwyns, who refuse to praise your work, don’t open doors for you, never show up to support your successes, and ignore you at parties), there’s something inspirational about a kind-hearted, corny, slightly old-fashioned man who wants to kiss your hand and introduce you to his mom, even if it’s too soon.
Tom is now a father in a committed, happy relationship. He’s moved on from his heartbreak, and I doubt he cares very much about how people reflect on the Hiddleswift Saga. He probably hopes they don’t reflect on it at all. But when he remembers being dragged through the mud by magazines like GQ and then sees the whole world cheering for Travis’s friendship bracelets, I can’t imagine that it doesn’t sting a little. Or maybe I’m just a pettier, more bitter person. I don’t know!
So on this, the long eve of Taylor’s re-released Reputation, before she brings his humiliations back into focus, let’s all collectively apologize to Tom for laughing so uproariously at Hiddleswift the first time around. Sure, their whirlwind love affair was silly, immature, embarrassing, foolish, undignified, overly optimistic, and cringey — but that’s love, baby! And Tom loved with the reckless abandon that few of us will ever experience.
Whether you’re single or in love, take a moment this Valentine’s Day to let the spirit of Hiddleswift into your heart. Imagine a world where we’re all so willing to be embarrassed for the one we love. Would you don the I ❤ __ tank top bearing your beloved’s initials, even as the whole world boos? If not, ask yourself why — have you ever learned to love so fully? Have any of us?
And by the way, YES, I AM single, looking, and my initials spell out “EW,” so they’ll look EXTRA embarrassing on a tank top. Fellas. ;)
