The Three Types of Self-Defence Part 3 — Self-Defence Against Soft Violence

Elliott Bayev
Feb 12 · 2 min read
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Soft Violence: Self Defence Against Unwanted Touch

Not all violence includes punching and kicking. There is a difference between defending against someone who wants to “fight” us and defending ourselves against someone crossing boundaries by trying to grab or touch us — those situations we might be concerned within a “women’s self-defence” course. “Soft violence” refers to the spectrum of possible ways in which boundaries may be crossed with unwanted touch. Of course women (and anyone) may encounter both types, hard or soft violence, but each has different dynamics. The beauty of Jiu-Jitsu is that it provides a plan for managing both.

In my Fight Like A Girl program, we explain that there are 3 reasons Jiu-Jitsu is ideal from a women’s self defence perspective:

1. It has proven itself to be the most effective method of protecting oneself against a bigger, stronger person.

2. It not only enables us to control our personal space, it specifically deals with intimate positions and reveals hidden power in what we typically think of as a worst case scenario positions (on our back, someone between our legs, for example).

3. It’s non-violent. Sadly, most women’s-self defence courses focus exclusively on dealing with a “stranger in an alley”, but statistically most boundary crossing and unwanted touch comes from someone we know. Imagine a girl at a party with someone she wants to be there with — if that person crosses a boundary and the only tools she has been taught are to poke their eyes out, have we given her any tools at all? She may have the right, but will she do it? Is it appropriate for every situation? Jiu-Jitsu enables us to control our personal space — again — without having to be violent.

No matter what form of self defence you are looking to prepare for, hard or soft, violent or accidental, Jiu-Jitsu empowers you to protect yourself and those you care about.

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