Trump’s New Immigration Proposal: Build Wall Around Reality

“And reality will pay for it, folks,” he added.

New York, NY — After another hard week on the campaign trial, the Trump campaign has softened its stance on Latino immigration. Kellyanne Conway, Trump’s campaign manager said, “It’s very simple, we’re still in favor of a wall, however, people were getting the wrong impression that we were targeting the Latinos or Mexicans.”

At this point, the former Ted Cruz PAC strategist fielded questions from a gathering of reporters who made repeated references to Trump’s incendiary comments about both Mexicans and Muslims, going so far as to pulling up YouTube to show her direct video of him saying despicable things. Eschewing their questions Ms. Conway continued to insist that the entire focus of Trump’s immigration policy has been about limiting the amount of reality that sneaks across America’s borders.

“It’s terrible,” Ms. Conway said, “everyday some well-meaning white person has to learn that there is racism that can be chased away by insisting, ‘the blacks love me.’” Ms Conway then pivoted, enumerating why Mr. Trump decided to bring Stephen Bannon on to be the campaign chair, stating, “Mr. Bannon has a long history of not allowing any trace of reality to invade Breitbart.com.”

At this point in the conversation Ms. Conway then unveiled a poster board with grainy pictures of Obama, Kenya, Hillary Clinton, a life support machine, a sticky note that read “dead panels” [sic], and Mola Ram, the Indiana Jones villain who ripped the heart of a man in Temple of Doom. “As you can see,” Ms. Conway said, “Democrats are in league with nefarious people and have been since at least 1935 or whenever Temple of Doom was set.”

When told that this patently was not true and impossible because Mola Ram was a fictional character, Ms. Conway then turned on a vacuum cleaner and said, “Sorry, can’t hear you.”

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