Right of Judgement

In my last post I touched upon what I call the ‘right of judgement’. This is something we give too frequently to people who don’t deserve it.

The right of judgement essentially allows someone else’s opinion of you to directly shape and impact your life choices. There are some people in our lives to whom this right is given, such as lovers and parents. Others do not deserve this right, perhaps: bosses at dead-end jobs and passers-by in the Valley.

I have found myself giving this right unconsciously to just about everyone. Coworkers, bandmates, random people. I gave all of these people full access, my mind at the mercy of their opinions. Only recently have I started considering the impact this has had on my mental wellbeing, and begun to sift between the people whose input matters, and those whose thoughts are extraneous.

As with many rights, the right to judge is earned. It should be bequeathed upon individuals who matter deeply to you — mentors, soul mates, lifelong friends. The privilege of having your thoughts resonate in another’s skull is immense.

I believe people such as partners and parents earn the right to shape you over years of work spent constructing a relationship based in trust and love. Those who don’t truly know you should rarely reserve the right to shape you. However, the curveball is that you can choose.

Your choices regarding who influences your life is entirely yours. If you want to take on the opinions of a middle-management schmuck, you can. If you want the gypsy musician you saw (or hallucinated?) in an alley to guide your life, they can. Just know that you are giving this people an immense privilege and gift of which they are likely unaware.