Thank you / sorry
I semi-recently came across a popular comic by artist Yao Xiao, discussing the difference between the phrases “sorry I’m late” and “thanks for waiting”, as well as similar conversational commonalities.
At first, I thought it was pretty straightforward, not quite the life-changer it was touted as. But since absorbing its message over a month or so, I’ve seen a definitive change in my behaviours and my attitude at work. Saying ‘thank you’ instead of ‘sorry’ is the single most efficient confidence-boosting action I’ve ever taken.
The method is clear and impactful — ‘sorry’ brings the mood down. Apologies are reserved for low moments, keep it that way. ‘Thank you’ gives something. The receiver of thanks is recognised for their input — be it waiting, listening, loving. Whatever the action, it’s been acknowledged. The positivity (or at least lack of negativity) this brings to the conversation allows you to focus on the purpose of your time together, coming across as confident and prepared.
The effectiveness of this approach lies not only in its positive output, but in the personal change it can incite within individuals. I found that by thanking people when I’m late, I shake off the “ohmygodI’mgettingfired” feeling and replace it with an efficient “let’s get down to business” attitude.
In acknowledging my own flaws (most commonly lateness) I am driving personal growth within myself, which often shows outwardly also. Thanking the person waiting on me smoothly addresses the elephant in the room. On top of this however, I am removing the ‘right to judgement’ we too often give to everyone else. I now reserve that for a chosen few.
In essence, I am done running in circles to impress people who may not be particularly impressive themselves. I am done believing certain people are the key to my fate. I am done running conversations over again in my head, I am done believing that I need to subscribe to a specific system or pathway to move forward and achieve my goals.
No one has the time or means to please everyone, why do so many of us try?
