I can’t begin to tell you how much this meant to me. I was nearly in tears like so many others when I read your words. Words that have never been spoken to me about behaviors that are never talked about. Hinted at yes, listed as a symptom of my illness, of course.
Thank you for the grace you’ve given us. Those of us who feel the deepest kind of shame and yet feel powerless to be consistent at caring for ourselves. Those of us that carry extra deodorant, body spray and manage to put clean clothes on a dirty body. Those of us that look at the bathroom door as some kind of thief that will steal the last of our precious energy. And those of us that manage to take that shower, brush out teeth, wash our face and put on clean clothes only to collapse in exhaustion from the self hate that always comes after. Your essay was gift. I hope to have the courage to write my own stories soon and maybe, just maybe I can return the gift you’ve given me.