Why Growing Up In an All Female Environment Can Be Unhealthy.

If you come from a family composed of mostly females or have been to an All-girls school, then you will most likely know what I’m talking about. Keep reading and don’t let your emotions get in the way.

Just like an all male environment can be toxic, an all female one can be somewhat unhealthy. I grew up in a family of four, with four females and one male, the only male being my father. My mom’s side of the family had two more females, which makes two aunts. And my dad’s side was supposedly mostly female too. I did not realise this until recently.

It did not help that I grew up with only my mother for a while. The most crucial years of a child too, as a pre-teen that needs both a mother’s and a father’s support. But that did not really affect me as an adult now, it’s more the sudden realisation that spending too much time around one gender can affect your mood, your thoughts and eventually your mental health.

The family meetings during the holidays is what really makes you think- Why are you feeling this way? Why can’t you feel complete or fulfilled? Maybe it’s the comments and complaints your mom, aunt or sister constantly make; again this could just be a cultural thing but it is also, in my opinion , something females do a lot, they gossip. They often seem eternally unsatisfied with their lives and feel the need to express their worries and frustrations out loud to each other in order to unwind and forget. This, as a child can leave some marks, it stays in your head and you then find yourself making similar remarks as an adult. It’s not your fault, it’s the environment you grew up in.

I cannot know what it feels like to have a brother or an uncle and I rarely communicated with my father and hadn’t spent that much time around him to know what it felt like to be around a masculine figure. My university time consisted of classes with 98% females, so then again not many chances of being around a more “balanced” environment.

Gender diversity is indeed a necessity, like any other type of diversity- In the workplace, in the home and in the world in general. No matter where you learn it, you will eventually realise there is something wrong with your surrounding; wether you’re working in the fashion industry with a majority of women or an Art student with a class consisting of mostly girls. The few guys that I knew back at University were just acquaintances, the gender imbalance might in fact be unbearable to some of us. Because it is, if there is 30 females in a room and only 2 males; it’s not going to be a very positive balanced classroom and your productivity and concentration might be affected by it.

The time I realised it was time for a change is when I had a fall out with a University friend; I was around her a lot and did not have any male friends at the time. My first thought was, I need new friends and maybe some guy friends would be nice ! Oh how easy that could be... Not only because my degree was mostly female oriented, but it was just overall hard to make male friends at the time, as a 22 years old who’s got little to no free time for themselves apart from classwork and group work. I eventually made some male friends, but it did not last long; there either was not enough friendship connection or time and life commitments naturally distanced us.

Female toxicity is a thing, and just like toxic masculinity , it has its characteristics. Females tend to be harsher on themselves, especially at a younger age; they think they’re behind and need to rush in life to catch up to their other female friends who are supposedly more advanced in life. But the thing is life is not a competition, it’s yours and you should go at your own pace, no matter what others do or say. But older females also like to talk and gossip, sometimes it can get pretty bad; especially if they are have never been married and never had kids after 40, it’s inevitable they will talk and express their opinions of the world in general.

It is not an ideal environment for a young girl to stay in for too long. You end up hearing these things and believing they’re true, thinking “men are all the same”, “ no one will make you happy”, “ You’re better off alone” which can make you think there’s no one out there for you, which isn’t the case at all.

Staying positive around such an unhealthy environment can be hard, but its not impossible. If you have your own beliefs already engrained since young, you will know that no matter what others around you say won’t affect your goals and achievement in life. No one, not even your closed ones can stop you from succeeding and leading a happy life, it’s entirely up to you.

After meeting my boyfriend I realised the importance of having someone that’s there for you, no matter the distance or circumstances. One man in a group of females can make a big difference, it’s called balance and we all need it. Not only it gives you a different life perspective, point of views but it’s refreshing; you no longer have to poison your mind with old fashioned ideas of what life is like and how you should live it.

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Elodie MC Trochez

Fashion journalist- Traveller-Cinephile. I write about Fashion, Beauty, Mental Health, Personal experiences & more.