Being Together But Not Connecting

There is a huge discrepancy between spending time together and connecting. Over the past few months, as each of us has become busier, there have been other outside factors that have put pressure on our relationship. We have always maintained that we prefer our quality of time to a quantity of time. However, when does the quality of time suffer because you have such little quantity?

As we have progressed through our relationship, the amount of time has never been as much as either of us would like. We have put our work and our families in front of the time that we spend together. We have had numerous discussions about this type of situation and we both agree that in order to accomplish our goals, we need to make work and family our priority. So when we get the time to be together, we need it to be time where we, as a couple, can connect. Just the simple fact that I will come home between clients in order to see you is not enough. We are spending time in the same proximal space but that does not mean we are connecting. When I am working with clients or rearranging my schedule on the phone, while I am seated next to you, that is not connecting.

It was brought to my attention that I do make time for us but have a hard time disconnecting from my phone and my clients. The business phone calls are always answered even if we are in the middle of dinner. The rules about touching our phones during meals have been broken numerous times. It is time to rediscover the ability to connect. We connect through discourse, discussion, sometimes debate and always through physical touching. It is the fact that we always hold hands when we walk or when we sit right next to each other on the couch that creates a bond.

So, we have made a breakthrough in terms of our being connected. We need to limit the distractions and concentrate on each other. Being in close proximity does not make us connect. Looking into one another’s eyes, hearing the words that are being spoken and being present in the moment are the keys to our being connected.