Lost Love

“Hurry up girls! You’re going to be late for school.” Susan yelled. It was already 7:45 am when the first daughter made her way downstairs. The second was not far behind when her husband, Bill, sat down for his morning coffee. Susan had prepared breakfast for the girls and was trying to figure out what to say to her husband. Susan had decided to meet with an old boyfriend from college and was not sure whether or not to mention it to her husband.

Susan was married to an architect, they had two lovely daughters, lived in a nice home, in the right neighborhood, and she had good friends. It appeared that she was living the “perfect life”.

Susan had met Bill right after college. They were married and within six weeks she was pregnant with their first child. Their second daughter came along little more than nine months after the first. She was busy being a Mom and he was trying to make partner at the firm. They had little time for each other. She worked at being a mother and made little time for being a wife. He was doing his best to provide for his family and neglected the little things like birthdays and anniversaries. Now, the daughters had grown up and were preparing to leave for college. This left the house almost empty except for this couple that no longer knew each other.

It was in the last few months that Susan had been contacted by her old love from college, Jim. Jim had been a friend, confidant, and lover to Susan. She had pined for him but Jim had plans to make the world a better place and wasn’t willing to stick around for the regular 9–5 grind. He left one morning after saying goodbye and she hadn’t heard from him for years. She received a letter from Jim a few months back. He said that he wanted to talk but he didn’t want to cause her any problems. She was torn. She remembered Jim as she wanted to and not how he really was. She did not have a good relationship with her husband, Bill, but she didn’t want to hurt him. She agreed to meet but in a public place, a diner in a small town a few miles from where she lived.

Jim showered and made a cup of coffee. He was still trying to clear the cobwebs as he opened his computer. His unfinished manuscript stared back at him. Jim had lost his drive to finish or even go on with this book. However, he had managed to drink his way through over half of his advance. He believed that he had lost his muse or at least it had run off with another man. Jim’s one true love, outside of writing, was Susan. It always had been. He was just not willing to settle down and be a husband. He wanted to see the world, change the world or at least go out in a blaze of glory.

In one last attempt to recapture his muse, he sent a letter to Susan. He had asked to meet. He did not want to cause any problems with her current life but he felt like he had some things to say to her. The truth was, Jim still loved Susan or at least he loved the memory of her. He needed to know if the fire between them had gone out or if there were some embers that were still alive. Susan had consented to meet in a small town not too far from the airport.

The morning of the meeting, Jim called Susan to confirm that she was going to be at the diner. Jim called from the payphone in the airport.

After a couple of rings, Susan picked up. “Hello?” she asked, not recognizing the number.

“Hi, it’s Jim” he said, “I didn’t want to call you from my cell in case your husband answered.”

Susan smiled, “Thank you. How was your flight?”

“It was good. I am looking forward to seeing you,” said Jim.

Susan held back a smile and stated, “Yes, it will be nice to see you as well.”

Jim did his best to contain his enthusiasm but he could barely breathe. After what seemed to be an eternity, Jim stammered, “Ok, I will see you at 1.”

“Ok” she replied.

His heart was racing as he picked up his luggage and headed to the parking garage for his rental car.

Jim parked his rental car at the far end of the parking lot and waited. Susan arrived in her minivan and parked in front of the diner where they agreed to meet. To Jim, she was even more amazing than she was almost twenty-five years ago. She had aged well.

Susan walked in and got a table close to the door. She sat facing the door so she could see him come in. Jim walked in through the door and her heart raced. Jim was just as handsome as Susan had remembered. Her stomach was in knots. Jim sat down and for Susan; it felt like no time had passed at all.

“Hi”, said Susan.

“Hey”, said Jim.

The waitress came over asked to take their order but neither noticed. It was as if the entire room had fallen away.

“How have you been?” Susan asked.

“I have been ok. How about you?” Jim replied.

A few minutes of uneasy silence passed when finally Susan stammered, “Where, where did you go?”

Jim was taken aback. He was just realizing that Susan had feelings for him. “I had to see the world. I couldn’t be a company man.” he mumbled. “Do you still love me?” Jim asked.

Susan looked down at her coffee, slowly shook her head and said, “Not any more. Too many years have passed and too many things have happened. I was once yours but now I am with Bill. We have a good life. Bill takes care of me and we have two great daughters. I would like to say that I love the man, but, I don’t want to lie.”

Jim’s heart sank. He had come all this way with the hope that she would still be there for him. Jim sat motionless trying to process what to say next.

Susan checked her watch and said, “I have to go.”

“Don’t go!” he begged.

She stood up and left him seated, staring at his coffee, trying to come up with the words. She stood at the door and as she turned to leave, Jim whispered, “I love you!”

She looked back; a solitary tear escaped her eye, but she could only shake her head. She closed the door behind her and walked to her car emitting a despondent sigh.

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