I don’t know where to start with the shower of shit day I’ve had. The term ‘everything is spiralling out of control’ springs into mind. I feel like I’m trapped in a tall and narrow room trying to jump up to the arrow slit Windows to peek out at a myth people have told me about- freedom? Sunshine? Something or other but I can’t be sure what it is because as I leap up the windows get higher and I end up smacking my face against the cold, grey slabs of stone that make the walls.

Incidentally, just for me. I’m writing this in the sad knowledge that just as in real life nobody is there. Nobody listens to my words- not that I’m sad, it’s just a fact. Luckily I don’t feel anything at the moment anyway.

I can’t leave my children, I know at this point they need me and I thank God for that lifeline. Also, although to use the crappy analogy from earlier those people moving the arrow slits higher want to see me crumble and fail so- I won’t let them beat me.

Feel nothing, feel nothing, feel nothing, feel nothing, feel nothing. Keep adding to the armour- no where is safe, trust nobody.

Not house less but without a home.

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