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Emma Cárdenas
a touch of creativity lives here.

Let’s Talk About Depression

It’s not out of the ordinary to come across someone affected by a mental illness. Anxiety. Depression. PTSD. Dementia. The list goes on. Take a moment and think about it, are you or someone you know currently dealing with one of these illnesses? I bet you can name at least 3 people. In my family alone there have been several cases of depression, bipolar disorder, and dementia.

I can think of no better day than World Mental Health Day to discuss depression. More specifically, my personal battle with depression.

I believe my first battles with depression happened when I was a teenager. I remember staying in bed all weekend with the curtains drawn, movies playing 24/7, not sleeping, getting pizza delivered because I couldn’t be bothered to heat something up in the microwave or leave the house. Was this just a teenager being lazy or something more?

Jump forward a couple of years, my life is in a bit of disarray. I move from LA to Texas and back again. I am in the constant company of someone who is much more deeply depressed than I. We mask it by going out, drinking, and maxing out our credit cards on frivolous things. Things that give you a jolt of feeling good before the feeling is gone again. Then it’s time to buy another shiny thing. Young, wild, and free or something else?

Jump forward a year or two. My constant companion has attempted suicide and has been shipped off to get help. Yet I remain in the rubble of our mess. Loads of credit card debt. School loans from a program I joined on a whim and quickly dropped. Distrust from those around me. Ashamed for causing my family so much grief. Those running from something (usually themselves) always find each other. My new friends and I quickly fall into a partying habit. Night clubs and after parties with random men. Always out. Getting my wilds out while I’m young and have no responsibilities or something more?

It took years before I finally accepted that the best course of action for me was to see a therapist. Am I “cured” now? Not even close. I definitely have my downer days but I am now better equipped to recognize what is happening and address it in a way that works best for me. That’s the thing, there is no one size fits all for dealing with any of this. What works for me may be completely wrong for the next person.

So why am I sharing this? Because I’m hoping that by sharing my story others will share theirs and we’ll create a ripple effect. Something that will help remove the stigma of mental illness. The less stigma there is, the more people will reach out and accept help. Personally, I hope this is especially shared amongst the Latino community. In a culture where you don’t air your dirty laundry, it’s even more difficult to ask for help because that would mean admitting that something is wrong. You feel like you are weak and that everyone is judging you. Let’s help change how mental illness is viewed in our culture, vale?

I’m lucky that my depression never escalated into suicidal thoughts, self-harm, or anything of that nature. I think my inflated sense of self and slight arrogance (I’m smart and I know it) helped me curb that, as weird and contradicting as that may sound. Even at my lowest point, I was still a highly functional, witty member of society.

Depression comes in many different forms. So what can you do if you think you’re depressed?

  • Talk to someone you know. Sometimes you just need to hear all of your thoughts aloud. Reach out to a friend or relative and tell them you need them to listen to you, without judgement. They don’t even need to give you advice (sometimes that makes it worse), just listen.
  • Talk to a professional. If talking to someone you know doesn’t feel comfortable, talk to a therapist. It’s not always easy but talking things out with a professional can help identify what is causing you this grief and provide a solution on how to overcome it. It took me one failed attempt (I did not gel with the person) and many rescheduled appointments later to find the perfect therapist for me.
  • Exercise. I know it can be difficult to sum up the energy to do anything when you’re depressed but exercise really does help immensely. I know when I’m super stressed with work or other things, a good sweat calms me down and keeps any anxiety or depression from escalating.
  • You do you. You cannot be forced to “deal with it” or “get over it.” Don’t feel like you’re ready to talk to someone? Don’t. You can only help yourself when you are truly ready.
  • Celebrate the little things. Especially on your darkest of days. Set a goal for yourself. It can be anything from going grocery shopping to changing out of your pajamas. Even the simplest of tasks can seem impossible. Celebrate what you can, it helps.

If you’re battling depression and are reading this, know that you can and will be okay if you want to be. I’m always available if you want to talk.

There’s some great information on the World Health Organization website that can help if you’re battling depression or know someone who is: http://www.who.int/campaigns/world-health-day/2017/campaign-essentials/en/

Thanks for reading!