Something to consider, is that many devs out there are NOT using a particular tool, framework or library by choice. In many cases it is handed down to them by an architect or a CTO or just a lead dev. In other cases devs are using a tool because it is a marketable skill they’ve been told is necessary to stay relevant.
In each of these cases the dev feels at the mercy of both their leadership and the maintainers. Which of these two authorities do you think they are more comfortable trying to influence? Yep, the Maintainers. Who can they criticize when the tool they didn’t want or ask for stops working? Maintainers. Who can they blame for advertising the tool to their boss and promising him/her a panacea for all technical challenges? Maintainers.
Just some thoughts that may not have occurred to those reading. Certainly not an excuse for poor behavior and attitudes.
Also thank you for writing this :)