Atlanta Traffic: A Mixtape

Last week kicked off the first week of I-85 at full capacity since it’s untimely suicide & it’s left us all 1 hour late and even more resentful of cities with public transit. Just when we were hopeful that our roads were intact, a sinkhole, chemical spill, and bridge fire proved that a degree from Trump University is more dependable than Atlanta interstates.

Let’s face it, Forever We Love Atlanta, but not right now.

Below is a detailed playlist just for you. May it bring you happiness for the entirety of your 68 minute commute to only go 2.4 miles. Amen.

  1. Rolling Stones- “Emotional Rescue” *The first stage of grief is always denial. When that fades and you realize you’re up a (Johns) creek, you’re going to need an emotional rescue. Or 7 drinks.
  2. Geto Boys- “My Mind Playing Tricks on Me” *Your mind isn’t playing tricks on you, I–20 just jumped higher than your blood pressure during the last half of Super Bowl XXXIII. Obviously still not over it.
  3. Elle King- “No One Can Save You” *No one can save you from this sh*t storm.
  4. Bright Eyes- “Land Locked Blues” *You just chain smoked 3 cigarettes that you hid in the console for Lent.
  5. Clarence Carter- “Slip Away” *WAYMENT. There’s a clearing. Slip away and floor it.
  6. Fleetwood Mac- “Landslide” *Oh Lord help us. Much like the chemical spill on Tenth Street, let the landslide of emotions flow as you realize that you will have to wake up at 3:30AM to make it to work on time from now on.
  7. Fergie- “London Bridge” *Good news, you made it past the 85N collapse. Your coffee is kicking in and you missed the meeting you didn’t want to go to. Get it, boo.
  8. The Beatles- “Why Don’t We Do It In the Road” *What’s that erotic tickle you feel for the stranger in the Accord because they just stopped to let you out? Keep driving.
  9. Janis Joplin- “Call on Me” *You are so impressed with your driving skills that you sign up to be an Uber driver.
  10. Smoky Robinson- “Cruisin’” *Congrats — You made it to work, or likely, your therapists’ office. See you again at 5:00PM.

Be safe out there, Atlanta.

Emily Bowers.