Atlanta Traffic: A Mixtape
Last week kicked off the first week of I-85 at full capacity since it’s untimely suicide & it’s left us all 1 hour late and even more resentful of cities with public transit. Just when we were hopeful that our roads were intact, a sinkhole, chemical spill, and bridge fire proved that a degree from Trump University is more dependable than Atlanta interstates.
Let’s face it, Forever We Love Atlanta, but not right now.
Below is a detailed playlist just for you. May it bring you happiness for the entirety of your 68 minute commute to only go 2.4 miles. Amen.
- Rolling Stones- “Emotional Rescue” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTxQ601mlAY *The first stage of grief is always denial. When that fades and you realize you’re up a (Johns) creek, you’re going to need an emotional rescue. Or 7 drinks.
- Geto Boys- “My Mind Playing Tricks on Me” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KutXyPEEbQs *Your mind isn’t playing tricks on you, I–20 just jumped higher than your blood pressure during the last half of Super Bowl XXXIII. Obviously still not over it.
- Elle King- “No One Can Save You” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKHgzYqEUWs *No one can save you from this sh*t storm.
- Bright Eyes- “Land Locked Blues” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Me85PztkYP0 *You just chain smoked 3 cigarettes that you hid in the console for Lent.
- Clarence Carter- “Slip Away” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tj8eAHn_2YM *WAYMENT. There’s a clearing. Slip away and floor it.
- Fleetwood Mac- “Landslide” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_PQ4fRQ5Kc *Oh Lord help us. Much like the chemical spill on Tenth Street, let the landslide of emotions flow as you realize that you will have to wake up at 3:30AM to make it to work on time from now on.
- Fergie- “London Bridge” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WD33ii01kXI *Good news, you made it past the 85N collapse. Your coffee is kicking in and you missed the meeting you didn’t want to go to. Get it, boo.
- The Beatles- “Why Don’t We Do It In the Road” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AdtR-d2HJQ *What’s that erotic tickle you feel for the stranger in the Accord because they just stopped to let you out? Keep driving.
- Janis Joplin- “Call on Me” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ON_IwYg0nvs&list=PLkh9ONH487DiXVlGP1pqyGPdzjjUgZ-2P *You are so impressed with your driving skills that you sign up to be an Uber driver.
- Smoky Robinson- “Cruisin’” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlzY6cWpoMQ *Congrats — You made it to work, or likely, your therapists’ office. See you again at 5:00PM.
Be safe out there, Atlanta.